Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The Dreams Giver
"They said to one another, "Here comes this dreamer.
Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. Then we will say that a fierce animal has devoured him, and we will see what will become of his dreams.”- Bereshit / Genesis 37:19-20
It all begins with a dream that Adonai gives you. A dream too daring and too arrogant for anyone that might hear about it. Every time people hear you talking about it, whether they say it to you or not, they all think "Is he (she) to reign over us? Is he (she) to rule over us? To lead US? Doesn't he know he's 50 years too early for that?" But you can't help it. You had a dream and whether it sounds too daring or too arrogant or too impossible, worthy of rebuke by the spiritual leaders even, you can't help it. You didn't chose your dream. Adonai has implanted it deep in your heart and you can't get it out anymore no matter how much effort you focus into the process. Due to the excitement caused by the dream you start telling others about it and they're not blind, they see the reality of the moment and that there is no chance on Earth for something like that to happen so they begin to see you either too proud or too ridiculous for thinking that among all the people more able than you to accomplish anything, Adonai chose you, etc.
When Yosef had his dream, he was 17 years old. He was immature, weak and a tattletale, but with a burning desire to do his father's will, so when his father sends him to his brothers, Yosef is ready to go without knowing he wasn't ready at all.
More often than not, when you receive the dream you truly believe you're perfect the way you are otherwise why would God chose you, but nothing prepares you for the next step: to be unclothed of your shine and thrown into a pit to die. When that happens, there is a conflict within you. "This is not happening to me! I just received a dream from Adonai!" They take you out of the pit and sell you off as a slave to those 'inferior' to you and as you walk behind a camel through the desert you keep mumbling "This can't be true! I was suppose to be a leader! I was suppose to rule not to be ruled! I was suppose to receive honor not humility!" And you do that until you get tired of mumbling and you start believing that those that mocked your dream were right: your dream is ridiculous! You start knowing for a fact that the road you're on leads exactly in the opposite direction from your dream.
Disappointment makes you humble, which trust me: it's good for you. And as you begin to see your condition you continue to grow and the more you grow you understand that you're still not ready and that you'll never be ready. But the fulfillment of the dream had never had anything to do with you being ready or not, it has to do only with the One that gave it to you. Adonai couldn't do anything with you as long as you thought you were ready, but once you understand your condition then you can see that He doesn't need your help to fulfill your dream. Adonai did amazing things with people that were not ready, like Moshe (Moses) that kept begging Adonai to chose someone else.
When you receive a dream your enemy starts dreaming also no matter how much of a realist he thinks he is. And he will dream of killing your dream. What he doesn't know is that his plan to kill your dream is the exact tool that Adonai will use to fulfill your dream.
Hasatan (satan) is horrified not by your dream but by The One who gave it to you. He hates The Dreams Giver and in consequence he hates the dreams He gives. The enemy cannot destroy The Dreams Giver so he will try to destroy you by throwing you into a pit thinking to himself "now let's see what will become of his(her) dreams!" What he isn't able to see is that Adonai laughs and says "Thank you! The pit is exactly where he(she) was suppose to end up! This was exactly the next step towards the dream!"
I'm not talking about dreams like having a certain car or becoming a billionaire, but dreams that Adonai gives, the sort of dreams that He fulfills even if it looks like He failed.
It might be a really long line of failures and every time you'll feel that you've never been so low, you'll find out that there is lower than low and you'll get there too. Maybe you even start taking it personally and assume that Adonai has something against you or that He's set out to destroy you, but actually He had brought you exactly where you need to be in order to see your dream fulfilled.
Wherever you find yourself, don't lose your hope. If you've just received your dream, then come down to earth and brace yourself because you're about to be thrown in to a pit. If you're in the pit, wait for the caravan. If you're in Potiphar's house, relax because you won't be there forever and you can get worse than that. If you're in prison, don't lose your smile and keep supporting other people's dreams because they will remember you when the time is right. If they just called you to interpret Pharaoh's dreams, smile because this is just the beginning. And just as a small reminder: when you do get to see your dream fulfilled and your brothers come to bow before you, remember that you have to show them the kind of kindness worthy of the position God placed you in.
It all begins with a dream that Adonai gives you. A dream too daring and too arrogant for anyone that might hear about it. Every time people hear you talking about it, whether they say it to you or not, they all think "Is he (she) to reign over us? Is he (she) to rule over us? To lead US? Doesn't he know he's 50 years too early for that?" But you can't help it. You had a dream and whether it sounds too daring or too arrogant or too impossible, worthy of rebuke by the spiritual leaders even, you can't help it. You didn't chose your dream. Adonai has implanted it deep in your heart and you can't get it out anymore no matter how much effort you focus into the process. Due to the excitement caused by the dream you start telling others about it and they're not blind, they see the reality of the moment and that there is no chance on Earth for something like that to happen so they begin to see you either too proud or too ridiculous for thinking that among all the people more able than you to accomplish anything, Adonai chose you, etc.
More often than not, when you receive the dream you truly believe you're perfect the way you are otherwise why would God chose you, but nothing prepares you for the next step: to be unclothed of your shine and thrown into a pit to die. When that happens, there is a conflict within you. "This is not happening to me! I just received a dream from Adonai!" They take you out of the pit and sell you off as a slave to those 'inferior' to you and as you walk behind a camel through the desert you keep mumbling "This can't be true! I was suppose to be a leader! I was suppose to rule not to be ruled! I was suppose to receive honor not humility!" And you do that until you get tired of mumbling and you start believing that those that mocked your dream were right: your dream is ridiculous! You start knowing for a fact that the road you're on leads exactly in the opposite direction from your dream.
Disappointment makes you humble, which trust me: it's good for you. And as you begin to see your condition you continue to grow and the more you grow you understand that you're still not ready and that you'll never be ready. But the fulfillment of the dream had never had anything to do with you being ready or not, it has to do only with the One that gave it to you. Adonai couldn't do anything with you as long as you thought you were ready, but once you understand your condition then you can see that He doesn't need your help to fulfill your dream. Adonai did amazing things with people that were not ready, like Moshe (Moses) that kept begging Adonai to chose someone else.
When you receive a dream your enemy starts dreaming also no matter how much of a realist he thinks he is. And he will dream of killing your dream. What he doesn't know is that his plan to kill your dream is the exact tool that Adonai will use to fulfill your dream.
Hasatan (satan) is horrified not by your dream but by The One who gave it to you. He hates The Dreams Giver and in consequence he hates the dreams He gives. The enemy cannot destroy The Dreams Giver so he will try to destroy you by throwing you into a pit thinking to himself "now let's see what will become of his(her) dreams!" What he isn't able to see is that Adonai laughs and says "Thank you! The pit is exactly where he(she) was suppose to end up! This was exactly the next step towards the dream!"
I'm not talking about dreams like having a certain car or becoming a billionaire, but dreams that Adonai gives, the sort of dreams that He fulfills even if it looks like He failed.
It might be a really long line of failures and every time you'll feel that you've never been so low, you'll find out that there is lower than low and you'll get there too. Maybe you even start taking it personally and assume that Adonai has something against you or that He's set out to destroy you, but actually He had brought you exactly where you need to be in order to see your dream fulfilled.
Wherever you find yourself, don't lose your hope. If you've just received your dream, then come down to earth and brace yourself because you're about to be thrown in to a pit. If you're in the pit, wait for the caravan. If you're in Potiphar's house, relax because you won't be there forever and you can get worse than that. If you're in prison, don't lose your smile and keep supporting other people's dreams because they will remember you when the time is right. If they just called you to interpret Pharaoh's dreams, smile because this is just the beginning. And just as a small reminder: when you do get to see your dream fulfilled and your brothers come to bow before you, remember that you have to show them the kind of kindness worthy of the position God placed you in.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Monday, December 3, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Moth or butterfly?
The Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the
power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.- Philippians 3:21
For some time now, I've been thinking about caterpillars and the way they become butterflies, about the whole transformation process and I've looked at their metamorphosis with hope because it reminded me of my own metamorphosis. What I did not know (frankly because I didn't care) was that not all caterpillars turn into butterflies, although they all go through metamorphosis. Some caterpillars become moths.
Moths unlike butterflies, fly at night because they can't stand natural light, though oddly enough they are attracted to artificial light. Moths, just like the butterflies, have wings, but their appearance is a hideous one and often their mere presence (no matter their species) brings disgust and creates damage wherever they are.
Only a true connoisseur can make the difference between a caterpillar that will turn into a butterfly and one that will turn into a moth. For someone that doesn't know the difference, all caterpillars are the same. They crawl the same way, they destroy leaves the same way, they are disgusting alike, and go through the same metamorphosis. The difference is obvious only after transformation, when you don't have to be a genius to know that one is a butterfly and the other is a moth, that one is beautiful and the other one hideous, that one flies during the day and the other during the night.
It's true that we are all humans, forced to live in the same world, carrying within us the same sinful nature ready to crawl in the dirt and cause damage around. It's true that often times it's hard for one that doesn't know better to see the difference between a believer and an unbeliever and that fact has convinced many that it's ok to go on living the same way they always had. But to The One whom knows all thing, including what hides in our lowly appearance, it's obvious what we can become. What makes the difference is our reaction to the metamorphosis, which in this case is an encounter with Yeshua. The moment you meet Him you reveal your true nature. He does not reject anyone. Us rejecting Him, turns us into moths. Until someone encounters Him, he is like the caterpillar that carries within the potential to either become a butterfly or a moth, but the moment you see Him face to Face and you look Him in the eyes and you see His love and still choose to turn your back to Him, nothing else can change your moth nature. You will thus be condemned by your own nature to live in an eternal night where you'll be under the impression that you love light, because you're a good person that does this and that, but your light will be an artificial light that only imitates True Light. That moment will reveal your true nature and no matter how much you'll hate butterflies and everything they stand for, it will be only because you'll understand that even the most insignificant and least beautiful one of them is infinitely greater than the greatest in your own species.
It is not my nature that makes me special. My nature is a lowly one, an insignificant and hideous one. I see in me a natural desire towards evil and I find it extremely hard to submit my own flesh, still, I know, that I know that I know that Eternity has looked me in the eyes and I can't stop wanting to fly and to be in The Light ever since. It's weird and unnatural to me to believe when I see that it takes me days to get from one leaf to the next, that one day I'll have wings and it will take me seconds to fly from one leaf to another. It's hard for me to imagine that this disgusting appearance will be clothed in beauty one day and that my dead carcass will one day be swallowed by Life, but I know it will be so! HaMashiach within me is the hope of glory! My hope does not rest in the fact that I can overcome my nature if I meditate enough or stuff like that. My hope for glory is that He, the embodied Eternity , lives within me.
He has the power that enables Him to subject all things to Himself, including my flesh and everything that I am. By choosing Him I gave him the right to use any means at His disposal in order to transform me and make me submit to Him alone.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
For some time now, I've been thinking about caterpillars and the way they become butterflies, about the whole transformation process and I've looked at their metamorphosis with hope because it reminded me of my own metamorphosis. What I did not know (frankly because I didn't care) was that not all caterpillars turn into butterflies, although they all go through metamorphosis. Some caterpillars become moths.
Moths unlike butterflies, fly at night because they can't stand natural light, though oddly enough they are attracted to artificial light. Moths, just like the butterflies, have wings, but their appearance is a hideous one and often their mere presence (no matter their species) brings disgust and creates damage wherever they are.
Only a true connoisseur can make the difference between a caterpillar that will turn into a butterfly and one that will turn into a moth. For someone that doesn't know the difference, all caterpillars are the same. They crawl the same way, they destroy leaves the same way, they are disgusting alike, and go through the same metamorphosis. The difference is obvious only after transformation, when you don't have to be a genius to know that one is a butterfly and the other is a moth, that one is beautiful and the other one hideous, that one flies during the day and the other during the night.
It is not my nature that makes me special. My nature is a lowly one, an insignificant and hideous one. I see in me a natural desire towards evil and I find it extremely hard to submit my own flesh, still, I know, that I know that I know that Eternity has looked me in the eyes and I can't stop wanting to fly and to be in The Light ever since. It's weird and unnatural to me to believe when I see that it takes me days to get from one leaf to the next, that one day I'll have wings and it will take me seconds to fly from one leaf to another. It's hard for me to imagine that this disgusting appearance will be clothed in beauty one day and that my dead carcass will one day be swallowed by Life, but I know it will be so! HaMashiach within me is the hope of glory! My hope does not rest in the fact that I can overcome my nature if I meditate enough or stuff like that. My hope for glory is that He, the embodied Eternity , lives within me.
He has the power that enables Him to subject all things to Himself, including my flesh and everything that I am. By choosing Him I gave him the right to use any means at His disposal in order to transform me and make me submit to Him alone.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I love my Master
"When you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve six years, and in the seventh he shall go out free, for nothing.If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out alone. But if the slave plainly says, 'I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free, then his master shall bring him to God, and he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall bore his ear through with an awl, and he shall be his slave forever". - Shemot/Exod 21:2-6
I never belonged to me. I had always belonged to Adonai but through sin I ended up under the punishment of The Law that He gave. But He couldn't stand the thought of being forever separated from what was His, so He redeemed me, paying for my transgression. He willingly accepted to be punished in my place in order to fulfill The Law to whom He remained faithful because He does not go back on His word.
He did not redeem me from satan for I was never sold to him in the first place, plus Adonai does not make trades with him. The evil one was always merely an accuser and the limit of what he could do was to go before Adonai with his finger pointing at my sin and demanding for The Law to take it's course in my case. He took advantage of the fact that Adonai decrees and that decree stands just like Haman did when he was plotting to exterminate the Jews. He knew that once the king of Persia would give a decree, not even the king could change it if he should change his mind (Esther 8:8) so he manipulated things in order for the Jews to be attacked all over the empire, knowing full well that the decree cannot be revoked so when Haman was killed, the king could only give another decree that allowed the Jews to defend themselves when being attacked. If a decree issued by a human king had this kind of power, Adonai's decrees and edicts have eternal power.
Because of my transgression of Adonai's Law I ended up under the punishment of that Law, a punishment that He suffered in my place, because He loved me until the very end.
The word huge does not describe the price that was payed for my eternal life. I've been redeemed with the precious blood of The perfect Lamb, with the blood of The One in whom Adonai is well pleased. There is no hyperbola meaningful enough in my limited vocabulary able to describe the measure that was used to weight for my eternal life.
He redeemed me and from slave of sin He turned me into a slave of righteousness. But I didn't enjoy that status right from the beginning. I used to think that if He redeemed me I am free from everything... including from Him. I always looked for a way to free myself from Him and His Law, because they use to preach to me that I am free and all I could see was that He's always more demanding. Many times I considered His commandments a burden and it took me years to come to accept my condition as a slave and to learn how to obey my Master. There had been many times when I dreamt of the cucumbers I left behind like the Jews that came out of Mitzrayim and I was always under the impression that if I wouldn't be held back by this Covenant, nothing would ever stand in my way. There had been many times when He was forced to tie my ankle so I won't be able to run away from Him. There had been many times when He had to crush the rebellion I carried in my heart ever since I was far from Him. However, I don't know how or when exactly, I came to realize I can't leave anymore. It wasn't because I turned into a masochist or because I suddenly loved slavery because I still carry the seed of rebellion in my heart even today, but I couldn't leave because I fell in love. I don't know how other people do it, but I wasn't able to love Adonai from the very beginning. Yes, I felt gratitude towards Him because He forgave my sins, but I always felt like I need to stay by His side because there's a lot I need to pay for. Don't get me wrong, I did have meaningless emotions that made me cry out "I love You Lord!" but I wasn't able to back up my words with my actions. But in time and like I said, I don't know when exactly, after observing the way He loved me no matter what, I fell in love with my Master. You see, while I despised my slavery I used to think that if at some point He would say to me "you are free to leave" I would run so fast that no one would ever catch up with me anymore and I won't ever look back not even for a second, but a strange thing happened when He opened the door and told me "you are free to even free yourself from Me"... I couldn't even look at what was beyond that door because by that time I wanted to remain by His side forever and serve Him even as a slave. I had told Him "I love You my Master, and I never want to be free from You!" and He took my word for it so He pierced my ear so that everyone would know that I serve Him forever.
Even though He was a Son, Yeshua became a servant and He said "The Lord GOD has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious; I turned not backward." (Yeshayahu/ Isaiah 50:5)
After I gave my ear to be pierced so I would listen to His voice forever, even though I was a slave He turned me in to a daughter and today He tells me just like He told His talmidim (disciples) "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." (Yochanan/John 15:15)
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Faith?
"And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw
near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who
seek him." - Hebrews 11:6
It is not enough to believe that Adonai exists. A god's simple existence doesn't help me in any way and I doubt it that Adonai has anything to gain from my mere belief in His existence.
If I go a bit further and I profess to believe that Adonai is exactly as The Scriptures say He is but I fail to believe that He is that way for me, my faith means nothing. How does it benefit me to have a God that has eyes but cannot see me? What use is it to have a God that has a mouth but says nothing to me? Does it help me in any way to know that He's a father if He doesn't know my name? What use is it to me a God that has ears but fails to hear me crying? What use is it to me a God that has a heart if I have no room in it? What use is it to me His mere existence if I seek Him but cannot find Him?
If I profess to have faith, then I must believe not only in His existence but also that HE REWARDS THOSE WHO SEEK HIM. Believing in His mere existence means nothing.
It isn't hard to believe that He exists even if you can't see Him... what is really hard to believe is that from 7 billion people that cry out to Him or against Him, He recognizes your voice and that sound moves Him so much so that He answers you right away regardless of how long it would take for His answer to reach you.
If I believe that He only exists I reduce Him to the same status as an idol. "They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see. They have ears, but do not hear; noses, but do not smell. They have hands, but do not feel; feet, but do not walk; and they do not make a sound in their throat." (Tehillim/ Psalms 115:5-7)
Adonai is alive! His ears are not just accessories. He can hear my voice whether I call out to Him or if I just whisper His Name and before I even finish what I have to say He already sends me help! If He created whales that can hear sounds from Hawaii to Japan, then I know for sure His ears can hear my voice even if the sound of my prayers would have to travel through a billion worlds and spaces to reach Him.
If He created sharks that can sense the smell of blood from more than a mile away, then I know for a fact that He whom is closer to me than my own skin, can sense when I suffer or I am in pain. I have to give Him at least the same amount of credit I would give one of His creatures.
Adonai's hands are not the hands of a statue. His hands have formed me in my mother's womb, His hands cover me as a shield, His hands sustain me, touch me and help me!
His feet ... His feet are ready to run from one end of the heavens to the other just to find me. His feet walk before me on this road that I couldn't have followed otherwise.
Everything He is, He is for me! Everything He does is for my sake! He locked me away in His heart and threw away the key!
My faith doesn't consist of me believing in His existence, because even demons believe, but my faith consists in believing that He rewards me for seeking His Face!
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
It is not enough to believe that Adonai exists. A god's simple existence doesn't help me in any way and I doubt it that Adonai has anything to gain from my mere belief in His existence.
If I go a bit further and I profess to believe that Adonai is exactly as The Scriptures say He is but I fail to believe that He is that way for me, my faith means nothing. How does it benefit me to have a God that has eyes but cannot see me? What use is it to have a God that has a mouth but says nothing to me? Does it help me in any way to know that He's a father if He doesn't know my name? What use is it to me a God that has ears but fails to hear me crying? What use is it to me a God that has a heart if I have no room in it? What use is it to me His mere existence if I seek Him but cannot find Him?If I profess to have faith, then I must believe not only in His existence but also that HE REWARDS THOSE WHO SEEK HIM. Believing in His mere existence means nothing.
It isn't hard to believe that He exists even if you can't see Him... what is really hard to believe is that from 7 billion people that cry out to Him or against Him, He recognizes your voice and that sound moves Him so much so that He answers you right away regardless of how long it would take for His answer to reach you.
If I believe that He only exists I reduce Him to the same status as an idol. "They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see. They have ears, but do not hear; noses, but do not smell. They have hands, but do not feel; feet, but do not walk; and they do not make a sound in their throat." (Tehillim/ Psalms 115:5-7)
Adonai is alive! His ears are not just accessories. He can hear my voice whether I call out to Him or if I just whisper His Name and before I even finish what I have to say He already sends me help! If He created whales that can hear sounds from Hawaii to Japan, then I know for sure His ears can hear my voice even if the sound of my prayers would have to travel through a billion worlds and spaces to reach Him.
If He created sharks that can sense the smell of blood from more than a mile away, then I know for a fact that He whom is closer to me than my own skin, can sense when I suffer or I am in pain. I have to give Him at least the same amount of credit I would give one of His creatures.
Adonai's hands are not the hands of a statue. His hands have formed me in my mother's womb, His hands cover me as a shield, His hands sustain me, touch me and help me!
His feet ... His feet are ready to run from one end of the heavens to the other just to find me. His feet walk before me on this road that I couldn't have followed otherwise.
Everything He is, He is for me! Everything He does is for my sake! He locked me away in His heart and threw away the key!
My faith doesn't consist of me believing in His existence, because even demons believe, but my faith consists in believing that He rewards me for seeking His Face!
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Friday, October 26, 2012
One Man's obedience
"Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death
through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned--" - Romans 5:12
"For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ. Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous." - Romans 5:17-19
Adam had sinned. In the eyes of Adonai, his sin made it so that every man that came after him would be a defiled creature the same way Adam was.
A single action of a single man had a consequence on all man kind. Through Adam's disobedience we are all disobedient.
How can something like that be fair? I wasn't even close to Adam's time, so how is it fair that Adonai should see me as a sinner because of one who lived thousands of years before me? But whether I like it or not, the actions of a single man can affect all generations after him.
Take Avraham for instance. He believed Adonai and that was considered righteousness in the eyes of Adonai. A single action of one man made it so that Adonai chose to bless and protect all those that were born from the seed of Avraham.
It is not fair that we should all be counted as sinners because of one man. It is not fair that all Jews should be blessed by the obedience of one man and most certainly it is not fair that by the obedience of one man many are righteous. It is not fair that I get the same reward as the One that deserves reward, but that is how Adonai does things.
If I can believe that I am a sinner because of Adam's sin, then i must also believe that I am righteous because of Yeshua's obedience. Even if I don't feel righteous and I find it much easier to believe and accept that I am a sinner, I must understand Adonai's way of doing things and believe that Yeshua's action was at least as powerful as Adam's.
If by sinning, Adam was able to influence my condition 6000 years later, then I know for a fact that Yeshua and His obedience can make me righteous 2000 years later.
Yes, I was not the one that broke Adonai's commandment, I was not the one that ate from the tree, still I feel the consequence of that transgression as if I was the one who did it. The same way, I was not the one that obeyed The Father by dying on the cross, still... I live the consequence of Yeshua's obedience as if I had been obedient.
"... so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" - Romans 5:21
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
"For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ. Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man's disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man's obedience the many will be made righteous." - Romans 5:17-19
Adam had sinned. In the eyes of Adonai, his sin made it so that every man that came after him would be a defiled creature the same way Adam was.
A single action of a single man had a consequence on all man kind. Through Adam's disobedience we are all disobedient.
Take Avraham for instance. He believed Adonai and that was considered righteousness in the eyes of Adonai. A single action of one man made it so that Adonai chose to bless and protect all those that were born from the seed of Avraham.
It is not fair that we should all be counted as sinners because of one man. It is not fair that all Jews should be blessed by the obedience of one man and most certainly it is not fair that by the obedience of one man many are righteous. It is not fair that I get the same reward as the One that deserves reward, but that is how Adonai does things.
If I can believe that I am a sinner because of Adam's sin, then i must also believe that I am righteous because of Yeshua's obedience. Even if I don't feel righteous and I find it much easier to believe and accept that I am a sinner, I must understand Adonai's way of doing things and believe that Yeshua's action was at least as powerful as Adam's.
If by sinning, Adam was able to influence my condition 6000 years later, then I know for a fact that Yeshua and His obedience can make me righteous 2000 years later.
Yes, I was not the one that broke Adonai's commandment, I was not the one that ate from the tree, still I feel the consequence of that transgression as if I was the one who did it. The same way, I was not the one that obeyed The Father by dying on the cross, still... I live the consequence of Yeshua's obedience as if I had been obedient.
"... so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" - Romans 5:21
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Thursday, October 18, 2012
My Rock
"To you, O LORD, I call; my rock, be not deaf to me, lest, if you be silent to me, I become like those who go down to the pit."
- Tehillim/ Psalms 28:1
Do you have any idea what it's like to talk to a rock? To stand before something completely different from your own nature, something that you can't attribute feelings to let alone mercy and hope with all your heart that it will listen to you, that it will have mercy for you and it will do something to help you?
Having a nature completely different from mine, Adonai, to whom I can't find the equivalent in my world, Adonai whom asks "To whom then will you liken God, or what likeness compare with him" (Yeshaiahu/ Isaiah 40:18) He chooses to confess to me that He is Tzur Israel (Rock of Israel) knowing full well that I've seen many rocks and none acted like it had heard me.
He had stretched my heart and my mind, my faith and my entire being to the point that I now see Him as a Rock even if I don't quite understand what that means, but even so, what do I do with all the information I have about rocks? All I know about them is that they are unmovable, that they allow you to see everything from the top, but I also know that if you try talking to them, they won't hear you, they won't be impressed by your words, they won't comfort you in any way and most certainly they will not help you. That is all I know about rocks. If He is a rock, then how do I find the faith within me to talk to it and believe that it had heard me, but not just that... to believe that it will do something to help me?
I find it as hard for me to understand Adonai's nature as it is for a blind man to understand what a rainbow looks like.
It would be quite pointless to tell a blind person that a rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection of light in water droplets in the Earth's atmosphere, resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky and it takes the form of a multicoloured arc and has the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet. The blind man doesn't understand what a multicolored arc looks like because he has no definition of an arc nor of colors not even a definition of the sky. In order to make him understand what a rainbow is, you need to use his functioning senses and the things currently defined in his mind so that he can come up with an image of what you're talking about even if that image isn't accurate nor complete, so you can use his hearing and attribute musical instruments to every color so that it would make sense to him.
Adonai isn't a rock in the literal sense, but I am blind to His reality, so in order to help me understand Him and His nature, He had to use notions and definitions from my reality. He used my notion of a "father" in order to make me understand part of His nature. He used my understanding of a "King" so that I understand Him. He used my notion of "justice" to help me understand He is just, although every notion that I have is distorted and corrupted by the reality I live in, still I can at least imagine what He is like. But just as the blind man cannot understand the rainbow with his current senses, I cannot understand Adonai with my current senses.
Although He saw everything I know about rocks and He saw how hard I struggle to believe that a rock can listen to me, He still compared Himself to a rock.
I do not find it hard to believe that if I am on Him I am above and I don't find it hard to believe that if I am in Him I am protected and if one wants to get to me he first needs to climb Him... but how do I believe that this rock... (even if it's Him) can listen to me?
It was exactly because I couldn't believe that, He sent me 'ambassadors' to tell me about this Rock, but I wouldn't believe them, so Yeshua came. He told me like He told Moshe (Moses) that even though in reality the rock is unmovable and you can't manipulate it, I should just talk to it, and it will give me water. He pointed to Himself and said to me "truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."
I believe with all my heart that Adonai is unmovable in His decisions and you can't make Him move by any other means except by faith. I cannot convince Him, plead with Him or threaten Him. I can only believe that He loves me so much that He moved from His rightful place in heaven and came to me just to tell me: "if you have faith in Me all you need to say to me is "move from here to there" and I will move!"
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Having a nature completely different from mine, Adonai, to whom I can't find the equivalent in my world, Adonai whom asks "To whom then will you liken God, or what likeness compare with him" (Yeshaiahu/ Isaiah 40:18) He chooses to confess to me that He is Tzur Israel (Rock of Israel) knowing full well that I've seen many rocks and none acted like it had heard me.
He had stretched my heart and my mind, my faith and my entire being to the point that I now see Him as a Rock even if I don't quite understand what that means, but even so, what do I do with all the information I have about rocks? All I know about them is that they are unmovable, that they allow you to see everything from the top, but I also know that if you try talking to them, they won't hear you, they won't be impressed by your words, they won't comfort you in any way and most certainly they will not help you. That is all I know about rocks. If He is a rock, then how do I find the faith within me to talk to it and believe that it had heard me, but not just that... to believe that it will do something to help me?
I find it as hard for me to understand Adonai's nature as it is for a blind man to understand what a rainbow looks like.
It would be quite pointless to tell a blind person that a rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection of light in water droplets in the Earth's atmosphere, resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky and it takes the form of a multicoloured arc and has the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet. The blind man doesn't understand what a multicolored arc looks like because he has no definition of an arc nor of colors not even a definition of the sky. In order to make him understand what a rainbow is, you need to use his functioning senses and the things currently defined in his mind so that he can come up with an image of what you're talking about even if that image isn't accurate nor complete, so you can use his hearing and attribute musical instruments to every color so that it would make sense to him.
Adonai isn't a rock in the literal sense, but I am blind to His reality, so in order to help me understand Him and His nature, He had to use notions and definitions from my reality. He used my notion of a "father" in order to make me understand part of His nature. He used my understanding of a "King" so that I understand Him. He used my notion of "justice" to help me understand He is just, although every notion that I have is distorted and corrupted by the reality I live in, still I can at least imagine what He is like. But just as the blind man cannot understand the rainbow with his current senses, I cannot understand Adonai with my current senses.
Although He saw everything I know about rocks and He saw how hard I struggle to believe that a rock can listen to me, He still compared Himself to a rock.
I do not find it hard to believe that if I am on Him I am above and I don't find it hard to believe that if I am in Him I am protected and if one wants to get to me he first needs to climb Him... but how do I believe that this rock... (even if it's Him) can listen to me?
It was exactly because I couldn't believe that, He sent me 'ambassadors' to tell me about this Rock, but I wouldn't believe them, so Yeshua came. He told me like He told Moshe (Moses) that even though in reality the rock is unmovable and you can't manipulate it, I should just talk to it, and it will give me water. He pointed to Himself and said to me "truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."
I believe with all my heart that Adonai is unmovable in His decisions and you can't make Him move by any other means except by faith. I cannot convince Him, plead with Him or threaten Him. I can only believe that He loves me so much that He moved from His rightful place in heaven and came to me just to tell me: "if you have faith in Me all you need to say to me is "move from here to there" and I will move!"
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Are you suffering? - Be quiet!
I believe that one of the hardest things to do when you're in pain or when you suffer is to be quiet.
Adonai is distorted before our eyes due to the pain we experience and everything we know as being true at that moment becomes zero.
If before experiencing pain you can proclaim that you know for a fact that "The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them." (Psalm 34:7) when you're in pain you think that "He has kindled his wrath against me and counts me as his adversary.
His troops come on together; they have cast up their siege ramp against me and encamp around my tent. " (Job 19:11-12)
If before you were in pain you believed that Adonai is everywhere as it is written: "If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me." (Psalm 139:8-10) the moment you suffer you believe that Adonai is nowhere to be found: "Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him" (Job 23:8-9)
If before the test of pain you used to think that "Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." (Proverbs 30:5) the moment you get tested you think "For the arrows of the Almighty are in me; my spirit drinks their poison; the terrors of God are arrayed against me." (Job 6:4)
If before suffering you thought that "Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8), when you suffer you think (about Adonai) "And were my head lifted up, you would hunt me like a lion and again work wonders against me." (Job 10:16)
If pain, or suffering or watching your dreams die convince you that all you knew about Adonai is a lie, then I'm sorry to tell you this, but you still have a long way to go. Untested faith is no faith at all.
For more than 2 months I was in constant pain, day and night and I mean the kind of pain that draws all life out of someone and renders one powerless and desperate. When my pain began thanks to an ulcer, I thought "well this is unfair because there is no reason under the sun for which I should experience this and so it's not fair."
Adonai didn't come to shake me and scream at my unbelief "I knew your faith was shallow!" He kept quiet even if He was in pain, suspected by this mortal that He is everything He's not, but one night when I was crying and kept repeating "I don't know how much more of this I can take" I felt He came to me and asked me "If you believe that I am good only when your eyes tell You I am good and only when everything works out the way you want it, what is unusual about your faith? Don't pagans do the same? How is your faith any different?" I placed my hand over my mouth and said nothing.
You see, in this relationship that He and I have, He loves me and is unmoved and unchanged in His decision to stay by my side no matter what; no matter if i make Him feel good or not and sadly more often than not, He suffers because of me. Everyday my enemy goes before Him with solid proof of my unfaithfulness and tells Him that He is entitled to believe the worst about me, that I deserve for Him to abandon me and never even look my way again, still... He looks at Yeshua that stands between me and Him, and because of His regard for the price Yeshua paid, Adonai never lets go even if He would be better off without me.
Even though He sees me exactly as I am, He always looks at me through faith. He's not unsure in this relationship and He always sees beyond what I show Him, hears more than what I tell Him and loves for the both us.
I can never thank Him enough for what He does, it would only sound like cheap words. All I can do is look at Adonai through Yeshua, through faith and not through pain. Is that an easy thing to do? As easy as trying to imitate Monet when you lack any form of talent. All I can do is imitate Him in this relationship and hope that one day I'll be able to make Him feel loved, at least 0,1% of how loved I feel by Him.
If pain makes you see Him different than He said He is, then close you eyes and place a hand over your mouth and be quiet until the pain is gone because only now you see the real measure of faith that you have.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Adonai is distorted before our eyes due to the pain we experience and everything we know as being true at that moment becomes zero.
If before experiencing pain you can proclaim that you know for a fact that "The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them." (Psalm 34:7) when you're in pain you think that "He has kindled his wrath against me and counts me as his adversary.
His troops come on together; they have cast up their siege ramp against me and encamp around my tent. " (Job 19:11-12)If before you were in pain you believed that Adonai is everywhere as it is written: "If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me." (Psalm 139:8-10) the moment you suffer you believe that Adonai is nowhere to be found: "Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him" (Job 23:8-9)
If before the test of pain you used to think that "Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." (Proverbs 30:5) the moment you get tested you think "For the arrows of the Almighty are in me; my spirit drinks their poison; the terrors of God are arrayed against me." (Job 6:4)
If before suffering you thought that "Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8), when you suffer you think (about Adonai) "And were my head lifted up, you would hunt me like a lion and again work wonders against me." (Job 10:16)
If pain, or suffering or watching your dreams die convince you that all you knew about Adonai is a lie, then I'm sorry to tell you this, but you still have a long way to go. Untested faith is no faith at all.
For more than 2 months I was in constant pain, day and night and I mean the kind of pain that draws all life out of someone and renders one powerless and desperate. When my pain began thanks to an ulcer, I thought "well this is unfair because there is no reason under the sun for which I should experience this and so it's not fair."
Adonai didn't come to shake me and scream at my unbelief "I knew your faith was shallow!" He kept quiet even if He was in pain, suspected by this mortal that He is everything He's not, but one night when I was crying and kept repeating "I don't know how much more of this I can take" I felt He came to me and asked me "If you believe that I am good only when your eyes tell You I am good and only when everything works out the way you want it, what is unusual about your faith? Don't pagans do the same? How is your faith any different?" I placed my hand over my mouth and said nothing.
You see, in this relationship that He and I have, He loves me and is unmoved and unchanged in His decision to stay by my side no matter what; no matter if i make Him feel good or not and sadly more often than not, He suffers because of me. Everyday my enemy goes before Him with solid proof of my unfaithfulness and tells Him that He is entitled to believe the worst about me, that I deserve for Him to abandon me and never even look my way again, still... He looks at Yeshua that stands between me and Him, and because of His regard for the price Yeshua paid, Adonai never lets go even if He would be better off without me.
Even though He sees me exactly as I am, He always looks at me through faith. He's not unsure in this relationship and He always sees beyond what I show Him, hears more than what I tell Him and loves for the both us.
I can never thank Him enough for what He does, it would only sound like cheap words. All I can do is look at Adonai through Yeshua, through faith and not through pain. Is that an easy thing to do? As easy as trying to imitate Monet when you lack any form of talent. All I can do is imitate Him in this relationship and hope that one day I'll be able to make Him feel loved, at least 0,1% of how loved I feel by Him.
If pain makes you see Him different than He said He is, then close you eyes and place a hand over your mouth and be quiet until the pain is gone because only now you see the real measure of faith that you have.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Barefoot
But David went up the ascent of the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went,
barefoot and with his head covered. And all the people who were with
him covered their heads, and they went up, weeping as they went. - 2 Samuel 15:30
David was on the run because of his son, Absalom. He was broken, humiliated, defeated, disappointed, cheated and deserted by everyone. He was walking up the mountain crying, barefoot and with his head covered. As one that had lost everything. As someone that never had anything.
In Judaism, the only time one takes his shoes off (except in one's home) is when they acknowledge Adonai's presence in that place.
What a weird time to take your shoes off and acknowledge Adonai's presence on a road you take to escape... to acknowledge Adonai in disappointment and tears and uncertainty.
Those walking up the mountain together with David felt almost the same pain as he did. They also walked crying and had their heads covered, but the only one that was barefoot, was David... as if through the tears he was the only one able to see that Adonai was in control, present, Almighty and ready to become a way under his feet.
To acknowledge God in your walk you must also be ready to cover your head in shame and not just to cry your tears but to take your shoes off and hurt your feet on a way you know it's right.
I want to honor Him in my walk. More than I wish to be shielded from pain and tears, more than I wish not to be put to shame, even more than I wish to love and be loved, I wish to acknowledge Him in all my ways no matter how my feet hurt because He is worthy. He hurt more than just His feet to come and find me... I will not cry about how my feet hurt to follow Him because it's not like He's somewhere far away looking at me walking, but He's right in front of me hurting His feet just like me and He does it just so that He can bring me back to The Father. This painful road is not because He had to punish me for running away, but because it's the way I used when I left Him and it's The Way... The only Way back.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
David was on the run because of his son, Absalom. He was broken, humiliated, defeated, disappointed, cheated and deserted by everyone. He was walking up the mountain crying, barefoot and with his head covered. As one that had lost everything. As someone that never had anything.In Judaism, the only time one takes his shoes off (except in one's home) is when they acknowledge Adonai's presence in that place.
What a weird time to take your shoes off and acknowledge Adonai's presence on a road you take to escape... to acknowledge Adonai in disappointment and tears and uncertainty.
Those walking up the mountain together with David felt almost the same pain as he did. They also walked crying and had their heads covered, but the only one that was barefoot, was David... as if through the tears he was the only one able to see that Adonai was in control, present, Almighty and ready to become a way under his feet.
To acknowledge God in your walk you must also be ready to cover your head in shame and not just to cry your tears but to take your shoes off and hurt your feet on a way you know it's right.
I want to honor Him in my walk. More than I wish to be shielded from pain and tears, more than I wish not to be put to shame, even more than I wish to love and be loved, I wish to acknowledge Him in all my ways no matter how my feet hurt because He is worthy. He hurt more than just His feet to come and find me... I will not cry about how my feet hurt to follow Him because it's not like He's somewhere far away looking at me walking, but He's right in front of me hurting His feet just like me and He does it just so that He can bring me back to The Father. This painful road is not because He had to punish me for running away, but because it's the way I used when I left Him and it's The Way... The only Way back.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Bat Melech's theory
In this context the chaotic system is me. My deterministic nature does not make me predictable and my behavior make me apparently chaotic.
Many times I tend to think that things happen and change and move without any purpose... that there is no purpose in my tears, that I am heading on to nothing, but Baruch HaShem (Blessed be God) my world is not governed by the Chaos Theory, it's not determined by the chaos around me and not even by the law of gravity that I seem to acknowledge every time I hit rock bottom.
The law governing my world says that chaos rules only until the moment Adonai speaks into my darkness and declares 'Let there be light!' and there is light. The law that applies to my world says that although gravity is pulling me towards the ground, Ruach HaKoddesh (The Holy Spirit) lifts me up to the heavenly places together with HaMashiach.
If a natural law can understand the meaning behind every little thing, even something like a butterfly flapping it's wings causing a chain reaction that can cause a typhoon at the other end of the world, then how much more must I understand that according to The Law of The Spirit of Life, even a butterfly flapping it's wings will cause a chain reaction that will work for my well being wherever I am.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God." - Romans 8:28
I know that Adonai will somehow orchestrate all things to work together for my good, starting with the sunset in Australia that will cause a butterfly to fly apparently chaotic, or the bus that is late in the morning, or the experiences that someone will live through that will change my life forever.
There is no coincidence. There is no chaos. Nothing is without purpose. This is my theory according to The Law of Adonai.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Friday, October 12, 2012
Within me
With my soul have I desired Thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me have I sought Thee earnestly... - Isaiah 26:9
Adonai... please forgive me for every time I didn't find You. Only now do I understand that I have been searching for You in things that charmed my eyes even though I always felt You near. I found You only when I began searching for You earnestly within me. I found You in every character trait that You've changed showing me how much I have to change yet.
I found You in every tear that I've cried unable to tell You how I felt... You were there whispering only: "I know".
I found You at the end of my strength, You carried me on Your shoulders and told me that You will never move on without me.
I found you in the gutter that I kept within me for every broken dream that I couldn't believe for anymore... You were there, gathering each one of it as if they were treasures.
I found You smiling when I was rebelling against You and telling You that You overlook my rights ... You knew I was talking in pain and chose to look at me through Yeshua, believing in what I will be and not what I am.
I found You when I felt that there was nothing left of me anymore... You told me: "I AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE".
I found You when I was counting all the words I knew and although they were many I couldn't come up with a way to put them together in order to utter my prayer.... You told me that You are The Word, the only one I need to say and You won't resist me.
I found You within me when I was broken, imperfect and helpless and I can only be amazed by Your love even though I can't understand what kind of love moves You to do all this for me. It's beyond my understanding. What kind of eyes must You have to see even the insignificant good within me and treasure it? What kind of heart makes You never let go of me? What kind of strength do You posses that makes You move past my rebellion and forgive me way too many times? What kind of ears are Yours that hear all the stupid words I tell You and think them worthy to record them in Your books as if they are worth remembering? What kind of hand is Yours that holds me without getting dirty in the process? Who is like You my Lord? You humble Yourself to the extent that You allow me to find You in this messed up world of mine... Even these darkened eyes of mine can see Your greatness... even this incomplete heart of mine can feel Your love... even I can see You are worthy of praise Adonai.
Thank you HaShem for staying within me and letting me find You when I get lost on everything that's in the outside world.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Adonai... please forgive me for every time I didn't find You. Only now do I understand that I have been searching for You in things that charmed my eyes even though I always felt You near. I found You only when I began searching for You earnestly within me. I found You in every character trait that You've changed showing me how much I have to change yet.
I found You in every tear that I've cried unable to tell You how I felt... You were there whispering only: "I know".
I found You at the end of my strength, You carried me on Your shoulders and told me that You will never move on without me.
I found you in the gutter that I kept within me for every broken dream that I couldn't believe for anymore... You were there, gathering each one of it as if they were treasures.I found You smiling when I was rebelling against You and telling You that You overlook my rights ... You knew I was talking in pain and chose to look at me through Yeshua, believing in what I will be and not what I am.
I found You when I felt that there was nothing left of me anymore... You told me: "I AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE".
I found You when I was counting all the words I knew and although they were many I couldn't come up with a way to put them together in order to utter my prayer.... You told me that You are The Word, the only one I need to say and You won't resist me.
I found You within me when I was broken, imperfect and helpless and I can only be amazed by Your love even though I can't understand what kind of love moves You to do all this for me. It's beyond my understanding. What kind of eyes must You have to see even the insignificant good within me and treasure it? What kind of heart makes You never let go of me? What kind of strength do You posses that makes You move past my rebellion and forgive me way too many times? What kind of ears are Yours that hear all the stupid words I tell You and think them worthy to record them in Your books as if they are worth remembering? What kind of hand is Yours that holds me without getting dirty in the process? Who is like You my Lord? You humble Yourself to the extent that You allow me to find You in this messed up world of mine... Even these darkened eyes of mine can see Your greatness... even this incomplete heart of mine can feel Your love... even I can see You are worthy of praise Adonai.
Thank you HaShem for staying within me and letting me find You when I get lost on everything that's in the outside world.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Can you count the stars?
And he brought him outside and said, "Look toward heaven, and number the
stars, if you are able to number them." Then he said to him, "So shall
your offspring be."- Bereishit/ Genesis 15:5
Avram only wished for one son but even one seemed impossible. He didn't dare to wish for two sons or three, only one... if he could have only one son... but it was not possible.
Adonai sees him and knows that Avram understands his own circumstances better than anyone else. He sees him tormented by his unfulfilled desire and sees him as he starts counting, but he stops at one and one seems and infinite and impossible number.
Adonai calls upon him "Fear not, Avram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great." Then takes him outside and tells him "Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be." In other words "Avram, do you think that your impossible is too much for Me? Is that all you got? JUST THE IMPOSSIBLE?" Avram listens and he starts counting: 100, 1000, 1000000.... then stops and suddenly gets it that even if he were a mathematician he couldn't come up with the impossible for Adonai.
Maybe you began wishing for the impossible and I mean the kind of impossible that there is no way on earth to make it possible; the kind that no way, no how and by no means can be accomplished. But you can't help but wishing for that impossible. You can't rest at night because of it and all day long your thought is just at how impossible found it's way in your heart and everything it is represents everything you are. I don't mean having a great car or an airplane landing on your lawn, but the kind of dreams and desires that look beyond your body or soul. The kind of dreams that make you break down at His feet pleading for fulfillment.
And maybe you start counting and you stop at 1 because it feels like even 1 is too big of a number even for Adonai.
I think that if it's within His plan, the pattern is the same as with Avram. If you feel like challenging Him then try a bit harder because I assure you that humanity was not able yet to issue a big enough number that would leave Adonai breathless and say to Himself 'this is too much, seriously!'
Think about the most impossible thing you can come up with and I am sure that He will think 'is that all?'
You can never wish for more than He can give, but He doesn't give you your dream only because you wish for it, but He grants it only when you know, that you know, that you know that you've asked a limited thing to an unlimited God.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Avram only wished for one son but even one seemed impossible. He didn't dare to wish for two sons or three, only one... if he could have only one son... but it was not possible.
Adonai sees him and knows that Avram understands his own circumstances better than anyone else. He sees him tormented by his unfulfilled desire and sees him as he starts counting, but he stops at one and one seems and infinite and impossible number.
Maybe you began wishing for the impossible and I mean the kind of impossible that there is no way on earth to make it possible; the kind that no way, no how and by no means can be accomplished. But you can't help but wishing for that impossible. You can't rest at night because of it and all day long your thought is just at how impossible found it's way in your heart and everything it is represents everything you are. I don't mean having a great car or an airplane landing on your lawn, but the kind of dreams and desires that look beyond your body or soul. The kind of dreams that make you break down at His feet pleading for fulfillment.
And maybe you start counting and you stop at 1 because it feels like even 1 is too big of a number even for Adonai.
I think that if it's within His plan, the pattern is the same as with Avram. If you feel like challenging Him then try a bit harder because I assure you that humanity was not able yet to issue a big enough number that would leave Adonai breathless and say to Himself 'this is too much, seriously!'
Think about the most impossible thing you can come up with and I am sure that He will think 'is that all?'
You can never wish for more than He can give, but He doesn't give you your dream only because you wish for it, but He grants it only when you know, that you know, that you know that you've asked a limited thing to an unlimited God.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Behold your God!
Get you up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good news; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good news; lift it up, fear not; say to the cities of Judah, "Behold your God!" - Yeshayahu / Isaiah 40:9
Rabbonim (the rabbis) say that there is a passuk (Bible verse) in the Kitvey HaKodesh (Holy Scriptures) for every man that ever existed, that exists and will exist. I believe that this verse in Yeshayahu 40 is my verse, because I hope with all my heart to undo the wrong that Pilate did.
Many years ago when I was reading about Yeshua's trial I reached the part that spoke about how Pilate dressed Yeshua with a purple robe and placed a crown of thorns of His head and took Him before The Jews and declared in a loud voice 'behold the man!' (John 19:5). That's the image that was stuck in the Jewish mind ever since. The vulnerable man, pushed and beaten by the Romans, suffering, bleeding and utterly helpless. A goy (non-Jew) took my Lord before His people and yelled 'behold the man!' I think that from where Pilate stood that's all he could see: a simple man, so he declared only what he saw. Pilate brought God down to the same level as his.
You can only declare what you see Him from where you stand. If you look at Him through your humanity then all you can see is what Pilate saw and you declare the same 'behold the man!' But if you are born from Adonai you can't help but see that Yeshua is Ha Elohim shel Tzion (The God of Zion) and then all you can do is declare with everything you have 'HINEH HA ELOHEICHEM!' (Behold your God!)
In order to see more than His humanity you have to stand on the highest mountain which is Adonai and you must climb that mountain not thinking that you want to be high but in order to have the best acoustic to tell all Tzion the good news!
I do not know where Pilate was standing but I know he wasn't standing on Adonai when he introduced Yeshua to the Jews. You see the Jews are unlike any other nation on earth... you do not convince them with words alone and you do not disguise Yeshua in a beautiful blond man with blue eyes that walks around always smiling and hugging everyone and then go about and declare 'behold you God!' and when they reject him you accuse them of blindness. One goy declaring 'behold the man!' was enough, there is no need for others.
Jews know their God. They will recognize Him when they will see Yeshua, the Jew, their Mashiach, but until then all I can do is declare as loud as I can "Hineh ha Eloheichem!'
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Rabbonim (the rabbis) say that there is a passuk (Bible verse) in the Kitvey HaKodesh (Holy Scriptures) for every man that ever existed, that exists and will exist. I believe that this verse in Yeshayahu 40 is my verse, because I hope with all my heart to undo the wrong that Pilate did.
Many years ago when I was reading about Yeshua's trial I reached the part that spoke about how Pilate dressed Yeshua with a purple robe and placed a crown of thorns of His head and took Him before The Jews and declared in a loud voice 'behold the man!' (John 19:5). That's the image that was stuck in the Jewish mind ever since. The vulnerable man, pushed and beaten by the Romans, suffering, bleeding and utterly helpless. A goy (non-Jew) took my Lord before His people and yelled 'behold the man!' I think that from where Pilate stood that's all he could see: a simple man, so he declared only what he saw. Pilate brought God down to the same level as his.You can only declare what you see Him from where you stand. If you look at Him through your humanity then all you can see is what Pilate saw and you declare the same 'behold the man!' But if you are born from Adonai you can't help but see that Yeshua is Ha Elohim shel Tzion (The God of Zion) and then all you can do is declare with everything you have 'HINEH HA ELOHEICHEM!' (Behold your God!)
In order to see more than His humanity you have to stand on the highest mountain which is Adonai and you must climb that mountain not thinking that you want to be high but in order to have the best acoustic to tell all Tzion the good news!
I do not know where Pilate was standing but I know he wasn't standing on Adonai when he introduced Yeshua to the Jews. You see the Jews are unlike any other nation on earth... you do not convince them with words alone and you do not disguise Yeshua in a beautiful blond man with blue eyes that walks around always smiling and hugging everyone and then go about and declare 'behold you God!' and when they reject him you accuse them of blindness. One goy declaring 'behold the man!' was enough, there is no need for others.
Jews know their God. They will recognize Him when they will see Yeshua, the Jew, their Mashiach, but until then all I can do is declare as loud as I can "Hineh ha Eloheichem!'
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Born again
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,
who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. - John 1:12-13
I was not born again because I one day decided that this is the best way to live. Neither did my flesh come up with the brilliant solution that I should be born again. I was not born again because someone out of the blue decided to 'evangelize me' or to increase the number of his congregation. It wasn't even because a Church council decided to approve my request to become member in their Church or decided that I was changed enough and thus deserve to be baptized. Nothing like that!
Adonai carried me within Himself, not for 9 months like a pregnant woman would, but for years and years. It's been hard for Him because I wasn't an easy burden, for my sins have made it hard for Him, but He did not give up on me. He waited... and when I finally was ready to be born, meaning to know His Truth, He gave birth to me and not without pain. There are people that are born again easily, but I was not an easy birth and Kadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One, blessed is He) endured a lot of pain to bring me to life and because He knows how He struggled to give birth to me, He does not give up on me, not even when I fail to understand what it is that He is doing.
What I am today does not resemble anything known and more than once I've heard people asking me 'what are you? you don't believe like that denomination or that one!' My answer is that I would resemble a denomination if a denomination would have given birth to me and if a set of principles would have given birth to me then I would resemble a certain school of thought, but that's not the case and because I was given birth by Adonai the only One entitled to expect me to resemble Him, is only Him.
It was not a denomination that carried me when my heart was so heavy that nothing could lift it... only The Holy One of Israel. He didn't send anyone else but He, The King of kings came personally and gave birth to me in a pain that broke His heart. He cleansed me. He cut my umbilical cord. He wrapped me up in a holy cloth. He fed me with milk. He stayed up late with me when I was sick with self disappointment. He stood by my side when I was crying my heart out and He stood by my side when I was laughing. He brought me back to life and only He can expect me to resemble Him. And that is my greatest desire: to resemble Him so much that if someone should look at me they would know I take after my Father.
I know that at this point I resemble Him so little that He always needs to reassure me 'yes, you are My daughter!' but I hope that one day there will be no need for words, because the resemblance will be obvious.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
I was not born again because I one day decided that this is the best way to live. Neither did my flesh come up with the brilliant solution that I should be born again. I was not born again because someone out of the blue decided to 'evangelize me' or to increase the number of his congregation. It wasn't even because a Church council decided to approve my request to become member in their Church or decided that I was changed enough and thus deserve to be baptized. Nothing like that!
Adonai carried me within Himself, not for 9 months like a pregnant woman would, but for years and years. It's been hard for Him because I wasn't an easy burden, for my sins have made it hard for Him, but He did not give up on me. He waited... and when I finally was ready to be born, meaning to know His Truth, He gave birth to me and not without pain. There are people that are born again easily, but I was not an easy birth and Kadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One, blessed is He) endured a lot of pain to bring me to life and because He knows how He struggled to give birth to me, He does not give up on me, not even when I fail to understand what it is that He is doing.What I am today does not resemble anything known and more than once I've heard people asking me 'what are you? you don't believe like that denomination or that one!' My answer is that I would resemble a denomination if a denomination would have given birth to me and if a set of principles would have given birth to me then I would resemble a certain school of thought, but that's not the case and because I was given birth by Adonai the only One entitled to expect me to resemble Him, is only Him.
It was not a denomination that carried me when my heart was so heavy that nothing could lift it... only The Holy One of Israel. He didn't send anyone else but He, The King of kings came personally and gave birth to me in a pain that broke His heart. He cleansed me. He cut my umbilical cord. He wrapped me up in a holy cloth. He fed me with milk. He stayed up late with me when I was sick with self disappointment. He stood by my side when I was crying my heart out and He stood by my side when I was laughing. He brought me back to life and only He can expect me to resemble Him. And that is my greatest desire: to resemble Him so much that if someone should look at me they would know I take after my Father.
I know that at this point I resemble Him so little that He always needs to reassure me 'yes, you are My daughter!' but I hope that one day there will be no need for words, because the resemblance will be obvious.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Lord, liar or lunatic?
“Then comes the real shock. Among these Jews
there suddenly turns up a man who goes about talking as if He was God.
He claims to forgive sins. He says He has always existed. He says He is
coming to judge the world at the end of time. Now let us get this
clear. Among Pantheists, like the Indians, anyone might say that he was a
part of God, or one with God: there would be nothing very odd about it.
But this man, since He was a Jew, could not mean that kind of God. God,
in their language, meant the Being outside the world, who had made it
and was infinitely different from anything else. And when you have
grasped that, you will see that what this man said was, quite simply,
the most shocking thing that has ever been uttered by human lips.
“One part of the claim tends to slip past us
unnoticed because we have heard it so often that we no longer see what
it amounts to. I mean the claim to forgive sins: any sins. Now unless the speaker is God, this is really so preposterous as to be comic.
We can all understand how a man forgives offences against himself. You
tread on my toe and I forgive you, you steal my money and I forgive you.
But what should we make of a man, himself unrobbed and untrodden on,
who announced that he forgave you for treading on other men’s toes and
stealing other men’s money? Asinine fatuity is the kindest description
we should give of his conduct. Yet this is what Jesus did. He told
people that their sins were forgiven, and never waited to consult all
the other people whom their sins had undoubtedly injured. He
unhesitatingly behaved as if He was the party chiefly concerned; the
person chiefly offended in all offences. This makes sense only if He
really was the God whose laws are broken and whose love is wounded in
every sin. In the mouth of any speaker who is not God, these words would
imply what I can only regard as a silliness and conceit unrivalled by
any other character in history.
“Yet (and this is the strange, significant thing)
even His enemies, when they read the Gospels, do not usually get the
impression of silliness and conceit. Still less do unprejudiced readers.
Christ says that He is ‘humble and meek’ and we believe Him; not
noticing that, if He were merely a man, humility and meekness are the
very last characteristics we could attribute to some of His sayings.
"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the
really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to
accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to
be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher.
He would either be a lunatic — on a level with the man who says he is a
poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your
choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God or else a madman or
something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him
and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord
and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His
being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not
intend to.”(Mere Christianity - C. S. Lewis)
Friday, September 21, 2012
and it has not appeared as yet what we will be...
“God changes caterpillars in butterflies, sand into pearls and coals into diamonds, using only pressure and time, He is working on you too!”Most of the time I feel sick of myself and my human nature. I seem to have an opinion about every person I meet and I do not need more than five minutes to label anyone (most of the time the wrong label), but the minute someone offers an opinion about me (and God forbids for it not to be “the right one”) I am indignant.
I expect everyone to fulfil the Scriptures to the letter and I seem to know for sure that they have no excuse if they get it wrong. But when it comes to me I always find an explanation as to why I couldn’t or I didn’t…
I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible for me to love my neighbour as myself, to protect him as I do myself and find him excuses as I find for myself. I am sick of the way I do not know how to love…
I have come to say as the Psalmist “But I am like a worm instead of a man” (Psalm 22:6) and I am not saying this as a form of false humility, I actually feel this way. But Adonai in His goodness always reminds me of the words from Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 41:14 “Don’t be afraid even though you are weak as a worm, I myself will help you”
I am not contesting the fact that I am but a worm for now…nor do I believe that if I start to proclaim that I am a butterfly I will become one. I aspire to become a butterfly, but I am not there yet and I can tell that by the way that I crawl. Do I despair because of it? No! And this is not because I trust in my ability to become a butterfly, but because I trust in the One who did not despise my weak beginning and still does not despise it even if I am about to start again for the thousandth time. I don’t despair not even when I begin to feel but another face in the crowd…a grain in the sand among the other billions of grains, because I know He dressed me in Himself and He won’t let go until I become a pearl in Him. Is it pleasant to be isolated? No. Is it pleasant for you to be the one who’s different than the rest of grains of sand, for you to be the one not allowed to be like the rest, not to have fun like the rest and have the same things they do? No. Is it pleasant to be squeezed from all sides until there is nothing left of you? No! Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY! Because I know that when He will finish His work in me no one will ever call me again “grain of sand” but “pearl”.
I don’t like my state right now, but I understood that it is ok for me not to like it because I was not born to but be a worm, a grain of sand or charcoal even though that is how I look right now. I am in the process of becoming a butterfly, a pearl, a diamond…
By its nature charcoal tarnishes everything it ever comes in contact with. That is how I was for a long time, but I have been touched by The One who instead of getting dirty when He touched me, He cleaned me instead. I don’t know how. I still find it hard to think of myself as a piece of charcoal but I know that by faith when He looks at me He sees a diamond.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
translated by Emanuela Robinson
Sunday, August 26, 2012
You are more
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love
"
But
don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Complete song
You wouldn’t praise if you didn’t know how to curse,
Only those who cry know how to smile
You wouldn’t love today if it wasn’t for your groaning
If it wasn’t for your crying you would not carry light in your eyes.
If you didn’t bind your own wound.
Your hand would not anoint the wounds of strangers.
You wouldn’t yearn for pieces of heaven
If you would not carry a shard of hell in you.
Because you can’t rise from the dust without falling face down in the bitterness of it.
And if you’re brought to live in today’s song
It is because you were dying in last night’s tear.
You wouldn’t yearn for pieces of heaven
If you would not carry a shard of hell in you.
Because you can’t rise from the dust without falling face down in the bitterness of it.
And if you’re brought to live in today’s song
It is because you were dying in last night’s tear.
---- written by Rady Gyr
---------translated by Emanuela Robinson
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Chag Purim Sameach! חג פורים שמח
We will never be never be:
Anything but true and always straight up, bold and fearless Jews!
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
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