Having a nature completely different from mine, Adonai, to whom I can't find the equivalent in my world, Adonai whom asks "To whom then will you liken God, or what likeness compare with him" (Yeshaiahu/ Isaiah 40:18) He chooses to confess to me that He is Tzur Israel (Rock of Israel) knowing full well that I've seen many rocks and none acted like it had heard me.
He had stretched my heart and my mind, my faith and my entire being to the point that I now see Him as a Rock even if I don't quite understand what that means, but even so, what do I do with all the information I have about rocks? All I know about them is that they are unmovable, that they allow you to see everything from the top, but I also know that if you try talking to them, they won't hear you, they won't be impressed by your words, they won't comfort you in any way and most certainly they will not help you. That is all I know about rocks. If He is a rock, then how do I find the faith within me to talk to it and believe that it had heard me, but not just that... to believe that it will do something to help me?
I find it as hard for me to understand Adonai's nature as it is for a blind man to understand what a rainbow looks like.
It would be quite pointless to tell a blind person that a rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection of light in water droplets in the Earth's atmosphere, resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky and it takes the form of a multicoloured arc and has the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet. The blind man doesn't understand what a multicolored arc looks like because he has no definition of an arc nor of colors not even a definition of the sky. In order to make him understand what a rainbow is, you need to use his functioning senses and the things currently defined in his mind so that he can come up with an image of what you're talking about even if that image isn't accurate nor complete, so you can use his hearing and attribute musical instruments to every color so that it would make sense to him.
Adonai isn't a rock in the literal sense, but I am blind to His reality, so in order to help me understand Him and His nature, He had to use notions and definitions from my reality. He used my notion of a "father" in order to make me understand part of His nature. He used my understanding of a "King" so that I understand Him. He used my notion of "justice" to help me understand He is just, although every notion that I have is distorted and corrupted by the reality I live in, still I can at least imagine what He is like. But just as the blind man cannot understand the rainbow with his current senses, I cannot understand Adonai with my current senses.
Although He saw everything I know about rocks and He saw how hard I struggle to believe that a rock can listen to me, He still compared Himself to a rock.
I do not find it hard to believe that if I am on Him I am above and I don't find it hard to believe that if I am in Him I am protected and if one wants to get to me he first needs to climb Him... but how do I believe that this rock... (even if it's Him) can listen to me?
It was exactly because I couldn't believe that, He sent me 'ambassadors' to tell me about this Rock, but I wouldn't believe them, so Yeshua came. He told me like He told Moshe (Moses) that even though in reality the rock is unmovable and you can't manipulate it, I should just talk to it, and it will give me water. He pointed to Himself and said to me "truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."
I believe with all my heart that Adonai is unmovable in His decisions and you can't make Him move by any other means except by faith. I cannot convince Him, plead with Him or threaten Him. I can only believe that He loves me so much that He moved from His rightful place in heaven and came to me just to tell me: "if you have faith in Me all you need to say to me is "move from here to there" and I will move!"
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
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