When men in the camp were jealous of Moshe (Moses) and Aharon (Aaron), the holy one of the Lord. (Tehillim/Ps.106:16)
Yesterday I was
reading Psalm 106 and I saw Aharon being called, the holy one of the Lord and
that brought immediately to mind the whole story of the golden calf.
In Shemot
(Exodus), Moshe goes up the mouintain with Aharon, Nadav, Avihu and 70 elders of
Israel and in verse 10 it says, that they saw HaShem. Aharon saw HaShem. When
he was in Mitzrayim (Egypt), Aharon was Moshe’s mouth. He spoke before pharaoh
and did miracles in front of him and in front of all Israel... He has seen
Adonai. He knew Adonai.
Moshe goes up to
the mountain with Yehoshua to receive Ha Torah (The Law) and Aharon is left in
charge of the people. 40 days and 40 nights pass and during this time Elohim
tells Moshe ”Speak to the people of Israel, that they take for me a contribution. From
every man whose heart moves him you shall receive the contribution for me. And this is the contribution that you shall
receive from them: gold, silver, and bronze ...” (Ex. 25:2-3) Adonai tells
Moshe this while the children of Israel were giving away their gold in order to
make an idol for themselves, as if He didn’t know they were giving away their
precious things to something that didn’t deserve it. As if He couldn’t see down
in the valley a people that was turning its back on Him, lead by Aharon. As if
Adonai’s unaware of the fact that His people were worshiping another, He tells
Moshe how He wants His place of worship to look like. And while Aharon was
melting gold to create an idol, Adonai tells Moshe ”Then bring near to you Aaron your brother,
and his sons with him, from among the people of Israel, to serve me as priests.”
(Ex 28:1)
It sounds insane
to see Adonai and then forget His face immediately and only days later to act
as if that was no big deal. To forget His face and everything you’ve seen and
worship something you’ve made with your own hands. It sounds impossible. Mind
boggling. Whoever reads this can’t help but call Aharon a traitor. And he was.
But I’m not gonna talk about Aharon’s stupidity right now. I have learned to
not be shocked by anything humans do, just like I’m not shocked anymore even by
the things I do or say, things that should never even cross my mind. The human
heart is incredibly wicked regardless how good of an opinion one might have about
oneself. So no, I don’t wish to speak about the human heart, but about Adonai’s
heart.
I know some
people like to think that The God of The Old Covenant was a harsh God and really
hard to please, while the God of The New Covenant is love.In The Old Covenant
Adonai was merciless and in The New Covenant He is all grace, but I’ve got news
for you. He is One and the same, unchanging. (James 1:17)
Like I said,
nothing amazes me anymore when it comes to people. I know for a fact that regardless how holy they may
be they can defile themselves and regardless how perverted they may be they can
become holy. So even if nothing amazes me about humans anymore, everything
about Adonai does. And I don’t say that to get some ’amen’ out of reflex nor to
extract some admiration like ”oh, isn’t that just lovely! Bless her she’s so
easily impressed!” But tell me, how can one not be in awe when one sees His
heart? How does one not wail out loud when you know that everything that moves
Ha Kadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One blessed is He) is His love for us?
He talks to Moshe
about the gifts He is ready to receive from a people that cheat on Him as He
speaks and He knows it. He talks about the holy garments He wants to dress
Aharon in at the same time He sees Aharon making an idol for the people. Adonai
sees Aharon in all his filth and He still wants him to be His priest. Adonai
tells Moshe to take two onyx stones and engrave on them the names of the 12 tribes
of Israel and Adonai says ”And Aaron shall bear their names before the Lord on
his two shoulders for remembrance.” In other words just like he’s leading them
in idol worship right now, he’ll bear their names before The Lord, forever.
What kind of
heart do You have Adonai? You see all and know all. You see that sometimes I
get a revelation of just how amazing You are, only to say the most idiotic
thing 2 seconds later. You see that I have moments like Keefa (Peter) when I
realize exactly who You are only to make you tell me 2 minutes later "get thee
behind me satan!" And even so, You watch me with eyes clean of any trace of
resentfulness, despite the fact that You can do with me as You wish... I am
Yours! But You treasure me even in my downfalls as if You don’t see all the
evil lurking inside me. What kind of love is this, Adonai? It’s insane! You love
insanely, Adonai! Sometimes I feel like telling you ”Guard Your heart against me
at least a little bit!” But You don’t know how to love partially. You love
completely. You forgive completely. You believe completely. And You believe
for me. You believe just like You believed for Aharon. You believe despite
appearances that my craziness doesn’t define me. You believe for me that one
day I’ll choose right. You believe for me even more than I believe for myself.
Teach me to believe like You, Adonai. Teach me to love like You do, Adonai
without holding anything back. Without judging You wrong everytime I don’t
understand what You do. When I see how You love me I know I don’t know how to
love You. But I am willing to learn, Adonai. Help me!
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Be blessed.
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