Immediately

And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea.

But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear.

 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”

 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.”  Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”  And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.  And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” – Matthew 14:25-33

For some time now I keep trying to write this post and I keep changing my mind. Today I woke up and my first thought was ‘Today, I shall write!’ and immediately after, I found 10 other things to do. Luckily I suffer from OCD and that doesn’t allow me to leave things unfinished, so in order to appease my insanity, here I am, writing. 

I am sure my dear reader that you could have lived the rest of your life without losing precious seconds reading about how I decided to write this, but I thought I shouldn’t suffer alone😁

You’re welcome!

Anyway, for those that don’t know, I have moved to England in December 2016. Why? Out of conviction that it was something I had to do. Because I have reached a point in my life where it was neither day nor night and things were just confusing enough to see everything distorted. And when you reach that point even the things you know by heart can seem something else. During my years on earth I made many mistakes thinking Adonai was in something when He wasn’t, but I don’t beat myself up for that too much because I have learned from all my failures. 

Talmidim (disciples) are on the boat. It's close to dawn. Neither dark nor light, when they see someone walking on waters. And as rational people that they were, they conclude, ‘It’s a ghost!’ And Yeshua tells them, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” – I hate horror movies and I dislike any kind of suspense, but I have a rich imagination and I can use it to picture this really creepy setting where something akin to a ghost appears and it’s enough to understand why Yeshua had to IMMEDIATELY reassure them that it was Him and they shouldn’t be afraid. I don’t know how convincing His words were to the others, but Kefa (Peter) is ready to test them and he challenges Yeshua, “Adonai, if it’s You, command me to come to You on the water.”

There are times in the life of every believer where circumstances seem so sinister that you can’t discern anything right and all you want if for Adonai to come and tell you something or do something, and He … comes. But he does unlike anything you were expecting. He comes in such a way that all your senses scream, ‘This can’t be Adonai, it’s a ghost!’ And you can choose to either be like the ones on the boat cowering in fear or you can be like Peter and say to yourself ‘I’m scared. There’s no use pretending I’m not. I’m shaking in my boots, BUT … what if it’s Him?’ And for that tiny possibility that it might just be Yeshua, Peter says “Adonai, if it’s You, command me to come to You on the water.”

Yeshua didn’t say "Whoever believes in Me, let Him get out of the boat and walk on water!" He never suggested such a thing. It wasn’t His idea. But Peter had a big mouth, and he couldn’t be quiet. The others did nothing wrong by keeping quiet. They probably thought "Peter just lost his mind, bless him!" And yes, you have to be insane to do what Peter did. Especially if you have clear lines concerning Adonai. Especially if you’re not impulsive nor are you ignorant concerning the Scriptures or life itself it is hard to stand up to your human nature and tell HaShem "Adonai, I’ve never seen You like this before... I’m not even sure it’s You. Everything withing me says I should be quiet, but Adonai, if it’s You, command me to come to You!”

Yeshua tells Peter, „Come!” and Kefa steps out of the boat. Not because Adonai came to challenge him to walk on waters, but simply because Peter couldn’t resist Him. Because he saw Yeshua commanding the storm to be quiet in Matt. Chapter 8 and in chapter 14, Kefa is convinced that The One that can command the storm to be quiet, can command him to walk on water.

Contrary to all appearances this tale is not about Peter’s walk on water regardless how amazing that was because if that were the case then Yeshua would have made the challenge. I believe that this was about recognizing Adonai in a situation.

Yes, Peter got out of the boat and yes, he did walk on water which probably made the others watch in shock and awe. But even more important is that Peter recognized Yeshua when He looked nothing like Him. And yes, he got scared when he saw the wind and the waves rising and just like the rock that he was, he began sinking. But he didn’t lose himself. He didn’t let the waters drown him but he called out "Adonai, save me!" And you know what? Yeshua IMMEDIATELY reached out His hand and took hold of him. Yes, He did tell Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”, but the thing that stands out to me the most is that Yeshua was right there to save him. That gives me hope because just like Peter I stepped out of the boat and I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared. I might sink or might as well just walk all the way to the shore, but the most important thing is that I know, that I know, that I know that even if I should sink, He’ll IMMEDIATELY reach out His hand and catch me. 

Even though Peter doubted and began sinking, in the end those that were in the boat watching the whole scene, even after they just witnessed Peter's 'failure', they went to Yeshua and worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” And that’s all that matters. Regardless of my walk or sinking moments, I just want for Him to be seen and those watching to recognize Him as The Son of God. 

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה

 P.S. Pray that I won't sink ...