Tzal Shadai (Shadow of The Almighty)

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” – Tehillim / Psalms 91

Back in Romania, I have a quote on one of the walls and it says in big glitter letters, ‘You were not born to fit in, you were born to stand out.’ I don’t know who said that but I love it, mainly because I have always felt like I stand out like a sore thumb and one day I have decided to embrace my weirdness and have taken those words to heart, glitter letters and all. That wasn’t the only quote I have embraced. I had things like ‘why be normal when you can be extraordinary?’ down to a mantra. Positivity and motivation does wonders for the brain doesn’t it? 

You can’t ever have too much positivity, can you? I use to think so, but then I met people. The kind that don’t know much about the Bible but they do know by heart all the verses that proclaim them conquerors and God forbid that you should feel down in their presence because they will teach you the ‘right path’ in 2 minutes. I use to envy those people… in a way I still do but mostly I am afraid to even dare to think of being anything but positive when I’m around them … You just don’t mess with their faith and their theology. God wants good things for you so you better do whatever you need to do in your mind to get it right!

It’s really easy when everything in one’s mind is either black or white and every possible conclusion that they reach is an absolute. The problem comes when they encounter a paradox, a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth. There are many such paradoxes in HaShem and His reality. He’s both Lion and Lamb, fire and water, Judge and Savior, etc. 

One of my favorite such paradoxes is the fact that He promises unmeasurable things to one who will abide in His shadow. One may assume we all are by default in His shadow, but no. Some are in the light, very much so in fact. It doesn’t say that those that are in the light are not blessed, but there is a special blessing and a special promise for those that abide in His shadow. The entire Psalm 91 is a blessing for those who abide in His shadow. And I am not talking about shy people, or introverts, or those working behind the scene for a conference, or are part of the staff for who knows what evangelist. I will explain in a minute what I mean by shadow, but before that, I’ll focus on the word abide.

 Now, English is not my first language and I thought abide meant something like dwell or lodge, so I double checked just to make sure (I’m not a nerd), and it turns out it means to withstand, endure without yielding, bare patiently, to accept without objection, to remain stable or fixed in a state.  His shadow is not pleasant. His shadow is not a place of praise and worship and deep study in a hidden place. His shadow is endured not enjoyed. 

You see, due to sin, our reality has been distorted so not everything that appears Light is Light, and not everything that appears dark is in fact dark. Sometimes hasatan (the enemy) appears as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) and sometimes Adonai, blessed be His Name forever, appears like the enemy. Sometimes the least painful road is not the best and the least bitter medicine is not the cure. 

Often the word ‘tzal’ (shadow) appears in the Scriptures as a symbol of death, like in Psalm 23 when it talks about tzal mavet (shadow of death). The human mind cannot understand how is it even possible for The Father of lights in whom there is no shadow (James 1:17), no darkness, to not only cast a shadow but for one to abide in it. 

Regardless what some might think, faith is tested. And I know that those that enjoy Adonai’s light, feel blessed when they look at other believers struggling with doubts in shadows. They assume those who are in shadows are in sin… for surely they did something wrong that attracted whatever calamity they are facing. If you’re one of those fortunate to be in the light, be grateful because it’s just His grace shining His light upon you. And on behalf of all those that have ever been in His shadow, do us all a favor and SHUT UP. You're about as useful as Yov's friends.

To preserve one’s faith in oneself, in God, and in mankind during the bleakest of moments is terribly challenging, and we cannot judge those who feel it impossible to do so. But when everything is taken away from us – that, ironically, is when hope is needed most. That is when you need to squeeze your eyes shut and go by faith and not by sight. I know it is scary and the more you look at things or even at Adonai, the more distorted everything is, so close your eyes. 

Yeshua said that His sheep know His voice and don’t follow a stranger for they do not know the voice of strangers (John 10:4-5). Believe you’ll recognize His voice and keep going. Ignore those that tell you this is punishment. It’s not. It’s Hashem trusting you that you love Him enough that even if you can’t see His Light; even if all you see is shadow and every instinct tells you to run, you will abide in Him. That yes, you love His beauty, but if you’ll see only His shadow, you’ll love Him through it. For better or for worse. Not everybody gets to see His shadow. Giants of righteousness fell when they were faced with His shadow. It’s bone crushing, soul tearing, mind numbing pain… If you’re faced with His shadow it will either make you or break you. Like the Angel fighting Yaakov. He’ll act like your enemy… or so you’ll think and you’ll end up as confused as Yov (Job) asking over and over again ‘what did I do wrong? Why are you treating me like this?’

These are not nice words you read in a Psalm because it promises a lot of great things. All those words are true. But only for those that not only endure His shadow but at the end of it they say “Here I stand Adonai! I am scared. I want to run because you seem like my enemy right now and I really don’t want to fight You. But I will, because You’re mine! Just as much as I am Yours , You are mine! And I will fight You if I must. Like Yaakov… Because even though I know I am no match for You, I trust You! You will not kill me! I don’t care that Your shadow scares me out of my mind… I trust You! You are my refuge! I trust You, do you hear me? So do whatever You need to do and I will do what I must and by the end of this, if I am still breathing, You don’t get to leave until you bless me!’

And I'll tell you what, if you live to tell the tale then I guarantee you will make history.

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה

Immanuel

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Bereishit / Genesis 2:18

Somebody made a statement the other day that suicides increase during the holiday season because people feel more depressed, and like a nerd that I refuse to admit I am, I had to check if that is true or not, and it turns out it’s a myth. Still it got me thinking. 

Regardless if the reason is depression, guilt or a philosophical desire to die, in the end people choose to die because they feel alone. They feel like there is no one like them or willing to help them.

It got me thinking about the passage in Bereishit (Genesis) about Adonai declaring that it is not good for man to be alone. And the single people reading this will feel like ‘yeah! I know right?!’ and all the married people will be like, ‘right, because after marriage you’ll never feel alone… stop dreaming!’ 

Hmmm

I know people feel alone whether they are single or in a relationship. It might not be constantly, but even with one’s soul mate it can be lonely sometimes. 

HaShem had showed Adam every creature He had created to inhabit the earth and every bird of the heavens and Adam named them all, but he didn’t name any after himself. Now that might seem like Adam was like a child that was learning to speak and lo and behold, how cute, he was naming all the creatures. No. Adam was an amazing living being. He was brilliant and awesome and Adonai enjoyed talking to him every day. He wasn’t just learning to speak. It’s not like Elohim was teaching him, ‘this is a bear’ and Adam would repeat ‘b…e…a...r…bear’. No, Adam looked at every single thing that God created and was able to recognize their very essence and had named them accordingly. So when he couldn’t find any suited for himself, he had recognized that there was none that shared his essence.

  So Hashem had made Chava (Eve) and had brought her to Adam and Adam took one look at her and called her Ishah (woman) after himself Ish (man). He recognized himself in the woman he had seen.

I have wondered often why Adam didn’t look at Adonai to find similarities in Adonai. That it had never occurred to him, as brilliant as he was, to look at Adonai. He has been made in HaShem’s image and Adam looked in creation for a suitable helper for himself. And Adonai, blessed be His Name forever, never took offense at this. He is so humble that instead of saying ‘Adam, look at Me! I am your helper! Pick Me! Name Me!’ -  He had made Adam someone in his image. And Adam was happy for a while

And Adam sinned and was cast out of Gan HaEden (Garden of Eden) together with his wife. And HaShem didn’t let go even then but instead made a promise of a Savior. He loved man so much that He just couldn’t stay away. It was love that guided His every move from the beginning and it will be love that will guide His every action until the end. And HaMashiach came. Because Adonai loved man so much that He gave Hid precious Son to us so we would never feel alone. So we would look at Him and know that we are loved.

Yeshua has many names in the Scriptures but probably the most beautiful one of them all is Immanuel. Im anachnu El. With us God. God with us. Because it’s not good for man to be alone. 

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה

Christmakah

This year I’m celebrating Christmakah.

 ‘What on earth is that,’ you ask? Well, let me enlighten you. It’s a mixture of Christmas and Chanukah.😁

 And if I were to guess right, just about now, some of my Jewish readers will feel the need to tear open their clothes in mourning for witnessing such ‘blasphemy’, and some of my Christian readers will want to either close the browser that hosts such a foul message, or be intrigued and think ‘oh, how liberal, I might try some of that too!’

Keep reading so that you make an informed decision before you either applaud my liberalism or shun me for blasphemy. 

This year Chanukah falls on the same day as the Christmas Eve and lasts until the 1^st of January 2017. Having observed Chanukah for most of my life, I want to keep doing that. Having a sister possessed with the ‘Christmas spirit’, I don’t want to go all ‘the power of Christ compels you!’ on her. So I decided to do both.

 Some might think that’s wrong, and you are right. Some might think that’s good and you’re also right. And for those of you Jewish enough to know both instances can’t be right, you are right too. (hahaha, see what I did there? (for the confused: see ‘Fiddler on the roof’))

Concerning Christmas, both Christians and Jews know that it is about the birth of Jesus. Now, regardless of how Jews might argue Him being HaMashiach or not, and regardless if Christians agree on the date of His birth – people know that Christmas is about celebrating Yeshua’s birth so I will not go into details about what Christmas is. 

Jews might know a great deal about Chanukah, having to listen to Megillat Antiochus (The Scroll of Antiochus, referring to the Chanukah story) once a year, every year. But for those that don’t know much about it, here’s the shortest version I can come up with:

Chanukah is the Hebrew word for “dedication.” The eight-day Jewish celebration bearing that name — it is also called the Festival of Lights — remembers the dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem after it had been recovered by the Jewish forces of Yehuda HaMacabi in 164 BC. The Syrian king Antiochus IV Epiphanes, seeking to coerce the Jews into abandoning their religion and culture for that of Greece, had issued edicts forbidding circumcision, observance of Jewish Sabbaths and feast-days. He had defiled the Holy Temple by offering a sow on the altar and raising up in the sanctuary a statue to Zeus.

As depicted in the First Book of Maccabees (an account of Jewish history found in the Apocrypha), a revolt was launched by the priest Matisyahu and later led by his son Yehuda (Judas) HaMacabi. It led to the defeat of the Syrian forces, and the defiled Temple was cleansed and re-dedicated. Another account relates how during this cleansing there was only enough sanctified oil left to burn in the menorah for one night—yet a miracle occurred, and it continued burning for eight days. The victorious warrior Yehuda ordained “that the days of the dedication of the altar should be kept in their season from year to year by the space of eight days, from the five and twentieth day of the month of Kislev, with mirth and gladness” (I Maccabees 4:59). Today, part of the celebration includes the use of a special eight-branched menorah (Chanukiah) upon which a new oil lamp or candle is lit each evening. Each light is ignited from the flame of a separate “branch” called shamash—“servant”- that sits in the middle and usually above the rest but not necessarily.

The entire point of Chanukah is to celebrate people who died rather than practice any religion other than Judaism and thus me even suggesting to a Jew to consider Christmas is outrageous to say the least. And then I even have the chutzpah to mix the two together as if desecrating everything Chanukah stands for. 

I know I sound crazy but bear with me. 

I don’t wish to go into a debate with believers in Yeshua of whether it’s OK to celebrate Christmas or not, if it’s pagan or whatever – I really hope that a believer’s greatest sin will be that they have had a Christmas tree and have remembered the birth of Jesus. On that note I don’t wish to be asked even one more time if it’s OK to do it. I find it pointless and ridiculous. If you believe that Christmas is pagan, may God help you if you do anything related to it because you’ve already decided it’s against God and my advice would be: just stop. If you believe it’s a chance to celebrate Jesus, good for you! I hope you celebrate with everything you’ve got! But regardless of what Christians believe concerning Christmas I don’t care, and using the immortal words of Shaul (Paul) this is all I have to say:

“Therefore, let’s no longer criticize each other. Instead, make up your mind not to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know—and have been persuaded by the Lord Jesus—that nothing is unclean in and of itself, but it is unclean to a person who thinks it is unclean.

 For if your brother is being hurt by what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not destroy the person for whom the Messiah died by what you eat. Do not allow what seems good to you to be spoken of as evil.” (Romans 14:13-16)

For the Jews that are confused about why I am intent to defile their precious celebration with bringing up Yeshua’s birth, well … because I believe with all my heart that Yeshua is the entire point of Chanukah. (Put. Down. Your. Stone 😇😁)

Deep breaths. There you go.

I do not wish to disrespect in any way anything that has to do with Am HaKodesh, chas v’shalom! 

I will not go into every prophecy that Yeshua fulfilled to prove He is HaMashiach. This article is not about that. You already know what you believe and I don’t care to change your mind, one way or another. This article is about me explaining why I personally celebrate Christmakah, this being MY blog and all that. 

Christmas (be it wrong or right) reminds me of the birth of Yeshua. I don’t care if they got the dates right or wrong; I don’t care if the Christmas tree was used by pagans in their silly rituals; I don’t care what anyone’s argument is when they refute Christmas. To me, it’s a reminder that He came to make me His.  He didn’t come into this world in the best of circumstances. He’s humble like that. You see, my Savior… Yeshua, “had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." (Yeshayahu 53:2-3)

He was no Yehuda HaMacabi. He didn’t come to lead a revolt against an empire. He didn’t come waving a sword. He came under the most vulnerable conditions. Yet, I and millions like me call Him Savior … as much as that boggles a Jew’s mind. 

Yehuda HaMacabi led the people to victory and re-dedicated Beit HaMikdash (The Temple). The true miracle of Chanukah was not that Jews rebelled against an empire and won. It’s a fact that since the golden Menorah had been stolen by the Syrians, the Maccabees had to make one of cheaper metal. When they wanted to light it, they found only a small cruse of pure olive oil bearing the seal of the High Priest Yochanan. It was sufficient to light only for one day. But by a miracle of Adonai, it continued to burn for eight days, till new oil was made available.

Yehuda HaMacabi is honored for re-dedicating The Temple. 

I honor Yeshua because He dedicated this temple that is me, to Adonai for all eternity. 

He didn’t wage war against the Seleucid Empire, He waged war against the darkness itself and won. He became my menorah, raising its arms to Adonai in my place, pleading for grace… He became my oil that would sanctify me… He became my shamash, above me but serving me to light my darkness, knowing I have no light if He’s not my Light. And by His grace and for His glory I shine my light. 

My Christmakah is about a birth. Yeshua’s birth. 

It’s about how one day Ben HaElohim (The Son of God) broke me. 

Piece by piece and cell by cell, He took form inside my heart, until one day He broke free from the shell I was, full to brimming with Him inside. My biggest hope.

 He broke my expectations: I thought I knew what was coming. I thought I’d bend and stretch to fit the changes seamlessly without shaking, without crying. Instead, I lay there, split down the middle, my own heart His and beating outside my body.

I didn’t say some magical words that changed my life forever. There was no: “today, I receive you in my heart”. No. I didn’t even know He snuck into my heart when I first heard the words of Malachi HaNavi (the prophet Malachi), “I have loved you,” says the Lord. But you say, “How have you loved us?” (Malachi 1:2). And word by word He grew inside me until I had to give Him my all. 

He cleaved me into two parts: one part mine, and the other His. He split my heart open, and it’s still open and I don’t think it will ever close. But that is good, because otherwise I’d selfishly hide Him away and keep Him just for me. Now people can see Him through my open heart… And He shines. And my goodness, sometimes He’s blinding me with all that Light. With everything He is and I can’t even begin to grasp. 

He is my Light and my Salvation. 

And that is why this year I’ll celebrate a Christmakah. So deal with it!

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה