Wise?

I’ve always wanted to be wise. Even before I have set my heart to follow Ha-Melech Ha-melachim (The King of Kings), I have craved wisdom. I blame my grandmother for it really, because she kept reading to us from The Scriptures and I got stuck with Shlomo Ha-Melech (King Solomon), that he became the wisest man that ever lived and in my childish mind I thought “I want me some of that!” 

Little did I know, it doesn’t work like that. But I had to begin somewhere, so I started at the start. (I am aware of the brilliance in my wording but pretend you haven’t noticed and move on.)

 I think that by choosing to walk in His footsteps, one attains the beginning of wisdom as it is written:

Techilat chochmah yirat HaShem v’daat kedoshim binah.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the holy ones (saints) is insight. – Mishlei/ Proverbs 9:10

I’ve done all I could to attain it, but I ended up with some daat (knowledge) and not much chochmah (wisdom). And I thought, “Well, this is no fun. I am no wiser then when I began!” But I am not one to give up (except for the times when I do give up), so I continued looking for wisdom. 

In Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) chapter 4 verse 1, Rabbi Ben Zoma asks four questions, but I shall focus on the first:

“Who is wise? One who learns from every man…”

Now I understand that when I quote the Talmud or a Rabbi, some Christians feel it a little hard to swallow because they have their mind made up about what they think the Talmud is all about, but I imagine it’s the same for Jews when I quote Yeshua or anything that has to do with Shaul HaShaliach‘s ( Apostle Paul) teachings. But you tolerate it well enough, because here you are, still reading, and for that I commend you. 

I have prayed for wisdom all my life and B’ezrat HaShem (with God’s help) I will continue to pray for it until the day I die. 

Yaakov (James) says in his book in chapter 1 verse 5:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

In the Babylonian Talmud, Niddah 70b, people go Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya and they ask what should they do to acquire chochmah (wisdom) and The Rabbi tells them that they should study more and concern themselves less with the earthly matters. They answer him that many have done so and still don’t have chochmah. Rabbi Yehoshua then instructed “pray for wisdom from Him to whom is the wisdom, for it is said, For HaShem giveth wisdom, out of His mouth cometh knowledge and discernment.”

So I prayed. And one day I believe I will be wise, because HaShem is not one to make promises in vain.

Still, this is not a post about how I became wise. Those who know me in real life can give you plenty of examples of instances when I exhibited anything but wisdom, so it would be pointless for me to claim that.

This is about me learning that there is a difference between daat(knowledge) and chochmah (wisdom). 

Knowledge is not hard to find especially in this day and age. It’s available for everyone and there is no excuse for ignorance in most cases. 

Knowledge is great and I’m all for it. Up until the point where that knowledge becomes arrogance. 

Simone Weill said, that “The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell.”

I know a few people that I admire to the point of envy for their intelligence, knowledge and wisdom and I am blessed to have them in my life. But I am also less blessed to know a few people that have a little bit more knowledge than those that surround them and for that they think they have the key to the universe when in fact their arguments are infantile at best.

But Rabbi Solomon Ibn Gabriol said, "The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." So I keep quiet for the most part. 

Like I said, I am all for knowledge and I don’t see how wisdom would work without it, but “arrogance is knowledge without wisdom.” (Celso Cukierkorn)

Knowledge puffs one up if it lacks wisdom and humility. It’s sad to witness a spectacle of ‘who’s more right?’ among believers when even the question they try to answer is ridiculous. That coupled with a pinch of arrogance, like “don’t tell me! I have studied this and this and this”, just makes me want to scream OMG, shut up!

I know that’s not very nice of me to say but to quote Shaul (Paul) “I wish you would bear with me in a little foolishness. Do bear with me!” – 2 Corinthians 11:1

I wish some of my brothers would find it in their hearts to pray for wisdom. I might not be wise yet, but I can spot an unwise person from miles away. Maybe because it takes one to know one, I can’t be sure, but the point is I can spot them and I want to run. 

“There are certain character traits which a person is forbidden to accustom himself in, even in moderation. Rather, he must distance himself to the opposite extreme. One such trait is haughtiness. For the ideal path is not that one be humble alone; he must be lowly of spirit, and exceedingly unassuming. Likewise it is said of Moses that he was “very humble” (Numbers 12:3) — not merely humble.

One conceited in his heart has denied HaShem, as the verse states: “Lest your heart grows haughty and you forget Adonai your Elohim” (Deut. 8:14; Talmud Sotah 4b).”

In Devarim (Deuteronomy) 8 there is a warning, that when one reaches the land and everything seems to work great there, and one is blessed, one shouldn’t forget Adonai. In verses 17-18 it says, 

“Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power…”

When you reach a certain understanding and you might feel inclined to believe that your own intelligence and great knowledge has brought you thus far, remember who gave you that wisdom.

Yeshua was Adonai’s beloved Son, and yet “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” -Philippians 2:6-8

Yeshua said, “Learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.” There is no pride in that statement. 

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1-2

Even if you could speak flawless Hebrew and Greek and could re-translate the Scriptures ‘accurately’ and have human and divine interpretations for The Scriptures and you have no love, no kindness towards your brothers, I applaud you, but it means nothing. If you could gain all knowledge and memorize the entire Scriptures and quote it better than anyone and you would have the faith to match it, but have no love… it means nothing. 

  Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. - James 3:13-18

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה

To my readers...

Writing publicly exposes one to all kinds of people, with all kinds of backgrounds and all sorts of interpretations. And, yes, I was aware of this when I started this blog a few years back. 

This platform wasn’t the first I’ve used. Way back when, there was this service called Yahoo! 360 and I was writing there almost daily, for about 3 years, but due to the fact that my main audience was Jewish readers I wasn’t that exposed to the ‘creativity’ some minds display when commenting or posing what they deem ‘hard questions’ meant to make me tremble in awe and contemplate my lack of an answer. 

Thanks to this beautiful feature that Blogger came up with, I am able to moderate the comments I get and decide if it’s worth publishing or not. Now, I do get quite a fair amount of insults or corrections from people that fancy themselves scholars or people that just simply don’t like my face, or my name, or my claims, and that’s their right as readers. I appreciate all of you that take time to read my thoughts. 

To those complaining why their comments don’t get published, the answer if threefold. Number one: I am vain enough to not want people that read my blog (family and friends included) to see me insulted for what I believe. Number two: Because said family or friends would end up defending me in comments of their own, and people would answer back, and you get the point. Plus I am biased enough to side with the ones I love. Number three: Because regardless of how amazing you think your questions are, they’re plain ridiculous to me and I don’t have the time or the energy to sit and answer every single thought that chances suicide when crossing your mind. 

You might think me unkind, bordering on proud for the way I handle things, and I could spend my life trying to convince you otherwise, but like I said, I don’t have the energy.

I don’t discourage comments on my posts, on the contrary, please feel free to share your opinion with me or the readers of this blog, but do try to remember this is not Barnyard and you don’t have to call me by every animal name that pops into your mind. Oh, and for the love of all that is pure and holy, even though it is a struggle, do try to make sense, and by that I mean don’t ask me stupid questions. 

What, you might wonder, makes a question stupid? Well my dear reader, in true Jewish fashion I will give you a moshel (parable) to help you understand.

Once, a young Jewish man approached a famous New York rabbi and said that he wanted to study the Talmud.

— ’Do you speak Aramaic’? The rabbi asked.

— ’No, I don’t.’

— ’How about Hebrew’?

— ’No’.

— ’Did you, at least, study the Torah as a child’?

— ’No, rabbi, I didn’t. You have nothing to worry about. I graduated from UC Berkeley and recently defended a thesis on the philosophy of Socrates. Now, I decided to fill in some blank spots, and for that purpose, I want to study the Talmud.’

— ’You are not ready to study the Talmud’, the rabbi said. ’I will give you a test first, if you insist. If you pass the test, I will teach you more.’

The young man agreed, and the rabbi continued:

— ’Two men are climbing out of a chimney. One’s face is clean, the other’s is dirty. Which man will wash his face?’

The young man was absolutely confused by the question, and asked:

— ’Is this question supposed to test my logic’?

The rabbi nodded.

— ’Clearly, the first one to wash his face will be the man with a dirty face.’

— ’Wrong! Think logically. The “dirty man“ will look at his companion with a clean face and will assume that his face is also clean. The ”clean man" will look at the man with a dirty face and assume that his face is also dirty. In other words, the man with a clean face will wash his face.’

— ’What a tricky question!’ the young man noted. ’Alright, rabbi, give me another one.’

— ’As you say, young man. Two men are coming out of a chimney. One’s face is clean, the other’s is dirty. Which man will wash his face?’

— ’Wait, we already found out that the man with a clean face will wash his face.’

— ’That is not correct. Both men will wash their faces. The “clean man“ will look at the man with a dirty face. He will assume that his face is also dirty. So, the man with a clean face will wash his face first. Then, the ”dirty man" will notice that the man with a clean face washed his face, and will also wash his.’

— ’Oh...I didn’t even think about that. I can’t believe I made another mistake! Rabbi, please give me another question.’

— ’Alright. Two men are coming out of a chimney. One’s face is clean, the other’s is dirty. Which man will wash his face?’

— ’Well... We just talked about it; both men will wash their faces.’

— ’You’re wrong yet again! Neither of the two men will wash his face. Think logically. The “dirty man“ will look at the man with a clean face. He will assume that his face is clean and won’t wash it. The ”clean man " will see that the “dirty man” is not washing his face and won’t wash it either.’

That answer upset the young man.

— ’Please rabbi, have some faith in me! I know that I’m clever enough to study the Talmud. Ask me something else’!

— ’Alright. Two men are coming out of a chimney...’

— ’Neither of them will wash his face’!

— ’You’re wrong, again. Have you realized that understanding Socrates is not enough for you to study the Talmud? Explain to me how two people are coming out of the chimney, and one man is dirty and another one is not? Don’t you see? This question is nonsense! If you spend you whole life asking the wrong questions, your answers will lead you nowhere.’

I understand that you have questions, clever ones at that, but I can assure you I am not the one you need to ask because I am learning just like everybody else. My understanding of things is constantly shifting and I like to think I’ve grown a bit since I have first began. I no longer agree with some of the things I have written in my beginnings but I don’t delete them because people should know that if it’s hard to agree even with your younger self how much harder it is to agree with someone else? 

This is part of my journey with Adonai. The fact that some of my thoughts end up in a blog is both a blessing and a pain, but I have known this all along and made my peace with it. I don’t expect sympathy or understanding, it is what it is. 

I like to write and I will continue to write for as long as Adonai allows me to and I am really grateful for each and every one of you that follows my posts. I don’t know if it helps anyone in any way, because most days I feel like I just incite people’s anger or snickering with my writing. I have days when I wish to stop. I’ve had them since I started this and I imagine I’ll question myself all the way to the end and that’s alright. I’m weird like that. 

There is a good news though and that is if anything I say offends you, or angers you or makes you feel so much better about yourself because you’re not as bad as me, then lo and behold, the big X in the far right corner of the page, click on it and you shall be free.

May Adonai bless you all!

Shalom!

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה

Prayer

Skeletons of past dreams stare me in the face.

I stare right back, my fears to chase,

Their mocking eyes are my disgrace

But I still know my place.

For I was born not once but twice,

My fate is not decided by some dice,

Regardless of how doubts my heart entice:

The King has looked me in the heart and paid the price.

You’re silent Adonai. My mocker’s loud

‘Where is your God?’, he taunts me proud

And I am mute, my head is bowed

Trying to remember everything I’ve vowed.

A coward under a sky made of steel

From thin air forgotten promises I unseal

Only to not lose hope or kneel

To smoke and mirrors that claim to be real.

Hear me HaShem, my faith is frail,

My prayers falter and my water’s stale,

I’m under siege, don’t let my enemy prevail,

Don’t let me fail You now… don’t let me fail…

If You but listen maybe I’ll walk a little further this time

And I won’t stop to make my non-sense rhyme.

If You but reach out, I know I’ll make the climb,

And tear down my regrets’ shrine.

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה