Adonai is obsessed with man. I don’t make this statement easily, quite the opposite, if there would be a stronger word than “obsession” to describe the way He feels about us, I would use that word.
One of the definitions of obsession is: inadequate image or idea, constantly present in ones consciousness, abnormally and persistently; tormenting preoccupation. I am the inadequate image unfit for His holiness, constantly present in His mind, up to becoming a tormenting preoccupation for Him. I don’t know why He loves me in this almost insane way, but I don’t even think I need to understand. What I know is that I am always before His eyes, to compensate for the fact that I can’t see Him. He always listens to me to compensate for me not being able to hear Him. He always holds me to compensate for me not being able to touch Him. He is always near to compensate for the distance that I feel. He always comforts me to compensate that I feel Him against me. He is my Father to compensate for the fact that I feel orphaned. He is my road to compensate for me feeling lost.. He is my everything, to compensate for me not having anything…He camps His angels around me (Psalm 34:7) as if He would guard His most precious. He engraved the palms of His hands with me (Isaiah 49:16) so that I would understand that He loves me.
He waits after me on my ways not His, until He come s to know them well, but He still doesn’t give up on me. He gathers every tear and safeguards it, though many of the tears I cried were against Him. But He knows the pain that caused them so He does not despise it. He counts every step that I take and He knows exactly how many steps there are between me and my dream, between me and Him… And He never quits whispering to me to carry on walking. He never grows tired to believe for me, He never grows tired to hope for me, He never grows tired to pick me up, to guide me, to forgive me, to have me. A man may love, but if the subject of his love is consistently faulty he grows tired of his love, but God is not the same. “He will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. “ (Isaiah 42:4a)
My hope does not lay in the fact that one day I will hold my head high before Him, my hope lays in the love that He has for me. That love great enough to motivate Him to not give up on me until he will establish justice on this earth that is me.
Bat Melech בת מלך
Cristina כריסטינה
Cristina כריסטינה
Translated by Emma to whom I am really grateful
