Moth or butterfly?

The Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.- Philippians 3:21


For some time now, I've been thinking about caterpillars and the way they become butterflies, about the whole transformation process and I've looked at their metamorphosis with hope because it reminded me of my own metamorphosis. What I did not know (frankly because I didn't care) was that not all caterpillars turn into butterflies, although they all go through metamorphosis. Some caterpillars become moths.
Moths unlike butterflies, fly at night because they can't stand natural light, though oddly enough they are attracted to artificial light. Moths, just like the butterflies, have wings, but their appearance is a hideous one and often their mere presence (no matter their species) brings disgust and creates damage wherever they are.
Only a true connoisseur can make the difference between a caterpillar that will turn into a butterfly and one that will turn into a moth. For someone that doesn't know the difference, all caterpillars are the same. They crawl the same way, they destroy leaves the same way, they are disgusting alike, and go through the same metamorphosis. The difference is obvious only after transformation, when you don't have to be a genius to know that one is a butterfly and the other is a moth, that one is beautiful and the other one hideous, that one flies during the day and the other during the night.

It's true that we are all humans, forced to live in the same world, carrying within us the same sinful nature ready to crawl in the dirt and cause damage around. It's true that often times it's hard for one that doesn't know better to see the difference between a believer and an unbeliever and that fact has convinced many that it's ok to go on living the same way they always had. But to The One whom knows all thing, including what hides in our lowly appearance, it's obvious what we can become. What makes the difference is our reaction to the metamorphosis, which in this case is an encounter with Yeshua. The moment you meet Him you reveal your true nature. He does not reject anyone. Us rejecting Him, turns us into moths. Until someone encounters Him, he is like the caterpillar that carries within the potential to either become a butterfly or a moth, but the moment you see Him face to Face and you look Him in the eyes and you see His love and still choose to turn your back to Him, nothing else can change your moth nature. You will thus be condemned by your own nature to live in an eternal night where you'll be under the impression that you love light, because you're a good person that does this and that, but your light will be an artificial light that only imitates True Light. That moment will reveal your true nature and no matter how much you'll hate butterflies and everything they stand for, it will be only because you'll understand that even the most insignificant and least beautiful one of them is infinitely greater than the greatest in your own species.
It is not my nature that makes me special. My nature is a lowly one, an insignificant and hideous one. I see in me a natural desire towards evil and I find it extremely hard to submit my own flesh, still, I know, that I know that I know that Eternity has looked me in the eyes and I can't stop wanting to fly and to be in The Light ever since. It's weird and unnatural to me to believe when I see that it takes me days to get from one leaf to the next, that one day I'll have wings and it will take me seconds to fly from one leaf to another. It's hard for me to imagine that this disgusting appearance will be clothed in beauty one day and that my dead carcass will one day be swallowed by Life, but I know it will be so! HaMashiach within me is the hope of glory! My hope does not rest in the fact that I can overcome my nature if I meditate enough or stuff like that. My hope for glory is that He, the embodied Eternity , lives within me.
He has the power that enables Him to subject all things to Himself, including my flesh and everything that I am. By choosing Him I gave him the right to use any means at His disposal in order to transform me and make me submit to Him alone.

Bat Melech בת מלך
 Cristina כריסטינה

I love my Master

"Knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot." 1 Peter 1:18-19

"When you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve six years, and in the seventh he shall go out free, for nothing.If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out alone. But if the slave plainly says, 'I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free, then his master shall bring him to God, and he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall bore his ear through with an awl, and he shall be his slave forever". - Shemot/Exod 21:2-6

I never belonged to me. I had always belonged to Adonai but through sin I ended up under the punishment of The Law that He gave. But He couldn't stand the thought of being forever separated from what was His, so He redeemed me, paying for my transgression. He willingly accepted to be punished in my place in order to fulfill The Law to whom He remained faithful because He does not go back on His word. 
He did not redeem me from satan for I was never sold to him in the first place, plus Adonai does not make trades with him. The evil one was always merely an accuser and the limit of what he could do was to go before Adonai with his finger pointing at my sin and demanding for The Law to take it's course in my case. He took advantage of the fact that Adonai decrees and that decree stands just like Haman did when he was plotting to exterminate the Jews. He knew that once the king of Persia would give a decree, not even the king could change it if he should change his mind (Esther 8:8) so he manipulated things in order for the Jews to be attacked all over the empire, knowing full well that the decree cannot be revoked so when Haman was killed, the king could only give another decree that allowed the Jews to defend themselves when being attacked. If a decree issued by a human king had this kind of power, Adonai's decrees and edicts have eternal power.
Because of my transgression of Adonai's Law I ended up under the punishment of that Law, a punishment that He suffered in my place, because He loved me until the very end.
The word huge does not describe the price that was payed for my eternal life. I've been redeemed with the precious blood of The perfect Lamb, with the blood of The One in whom Adonai is well pleased. There is no hyperbola meaningful enough in my limited vocabulary able to describe the measure that was used to weight for my eternal life.
He redeemed me and from slave of sin He turned me into a slave of righteousness. But I didn't enjoy that status right from the beginning. I used to think that if He redeemed me I am free from everything... including from Him. I always looked for a way to free myself from Him and His Law, because they use to preach to me that I am free and all I could see was that He's always more demanding. Many times I considered His commandments a burden and it took me years to come to accept my condition as a slave and to learn how to obey my Master. There had been many times when I dreamt of the cucumbers I left behind like the Jews that came out of Mitzrayim and I was always under the impression that if I wouldn't be held back by this Covenant, nothing would ever stand in my way. There had been many times when He was forced to tie my ankle so I won't be able to run away from Him. There had been many times when He had to crush the rebellion I carried in my heart ever since I was far from Him. However, I don't know how or when exactly, I came to realize I can't leave anymore. It wasn't because I turned into a masochist or because I suddenly loved slavery because I still carry the seed of rebellion in my heart even today, but I couldn't leave because I fell in love. I don't know how other people do it, but I wasn't able to love Adonai from the very beginning. Yes, I felt gratitude towards Him because He forgave my sins, but I always felt like I need to stay by His side because there's a lot I need to pay for. Don't get me wrong, I did have meaningless emotions that made me cry out "I love You Lord!" but I wasn't able to back up my words with my actions. But in time and like I said, I don't know when exactly, after observing the way He loved me no matter what, I fell in love with my Master. You see, while I despised my slavery I used to think that if at some point He would say to me "you are free to leave" I would run so fast that no one would ever catch up with me anymore and I won't ever look back not even for a second, but a strange thing happened when He opened the door and told me "you are free to even free yourself from Me"... I couldn't even look at what was beyond that door because by that time I wanted to remain by His side forever and serve Him even as a slave. I had told Him "I love You my Master, and I never want to be free from You!" and He took my word for it so He pierced my ear so that everyone would know that I serve Him forever.
Even though He was a Son, Yeshua became a servant and He said "The Lord GOD has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious; I turned not backward." (Yeshayahu/ Isaiah 50:5)
After I gave my ear to be pierced so I would listen to His voice forever, even though I was a slave He turned me in to a daughter and today He tells me just like He told His talmidim (disciples) "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." (Yochanan/John 15:15)

  

Bat Melech בת מלך

Cristina כריסטינה